


[[Crossed]]

by doujinbag



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Death, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Implied Reincarnation, M/M, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Multi, Zombies, i also included some random oc in the last chapter just for plot purposes, i'm sorry in advance if this sucks or if it doesn't completely suck and it hurts you, uh yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-23 20:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2553980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doujinbag/pseuds/doujinbag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 2040. Earth is overrun with a virus that turns ordinary humans into zombie-like creatures, and all hope is lost. As brothers turn against brothers, friends against friends, Eren Jaeger realizes that the only way to survive is to fight. Meeting many people along the way, he realizes sometimes, it's not just a matter of life and death- sometimes, it's a matter of love and loss as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries ew  
> But yeah so these chapters are relatively long?!?! I'm sort of proud of myself but at the same time if you hate reading then... this probably isn't for you. (Why would you be looking up fanfic if you hate reading though) (who knows)  
> There is a TRIGGER WARNING for this story. There's gore/killing all through it, death of underage minors everywhere, etc. There's also a relationship between a fifteen-year-old and a thirty-year-old (cough cough I wonder who,,), so if that bothers you, you probably shouldn't read this either. (I do not condone pedophilia in any way, I only ship fictional characters in a very unrealistic setting.) In the later chapters, there are also flashbacks of abuse as well.  
> That's basically all I have to say and warn you about. Without further ado... here!

“Eren?” Mikasa calls, waking me up. “Eren, I found water.” I rub my eyes and take a water bottle from her hand, mumbling a hoarse “thank you” before taking a gulp.

“Save it,” she warns. “I don’t know when the next time that we’ll find some will be.”

I nod and put the remainder of the bottle in my bad, standing up and brushing the sandy soil off my jeans. The last sign I remember seeing told us we were in Amarillo, Texas, but it’s hard to remember much of anything when the sun is hot enough hot literally boil blood and all I’ve seen for miles are abandoned adobe houses and sandy landscapes in which we are the only sign of life around.

“Where’d you find it at?” I ask.

“Hm?”

“The water. Where’d you get it from?” I blow some sand off the barrel of my gun before putting It back in my holster, swatting at a hungry mosquito on my arm.

“Oh, see that house over there?” Mikasa says, pointing over to one of the earthy clay homes. “The fridge was full of expired moldy stuff, but somehow, there were two miraculous water bottles right there on the top shelf. Luck.” She gives me a small smile and I can’t help but notice the broken sadness gleaming in her eyes.

“Hey,” I say, putting my hands on her cheeks. “Hey, thank you. Really. We’re gonna be okay, yeah? I promise.”

She looks away and I stare her in the eyes once more. “I _promise,_ Mikasa.”

She coughs and puts her hands over mine, slowly taking them off of her face. “Yeah,” she says. “Okay.”

And within five seconds, we’re running again as if we never stopped. We keep on running for about an hour, only stopping for a few seconds at a time if we need to catch our breath. We finally see figures staggering around a couple hundred yards in front of us, and I put my hand in front of Mikasa to keep her back, pulling my gun out. Once I have a good aim, I shoot, only to hear a loud and unexpected “Shit!” from one of them.

“Well, that’s new,” I say, putting my gun back. Mikasa rolls her eyes and slaps me in the stomach. “Ow!”

“They’re _humans,_ Eren.”

“ _Really?_ Wow! I had no idea. Thank you, Sherlock Holmes.”

“Oh, shut up.”

We move quickly towards the two, and I wince when I see that I shot one of them. “Oh, fuck,” I curse. “Oh, man, I’m sorry. I thought you were-“

“No, it’s fine, this ain’t from you,” the wounded one says. “Got shot a couple miles back from my own damn gun on accident. We missed your bullet, you’re fine.”

“Here, let me help,” my sister offers, pulling a blue bandana out of her hair. She moves over to the guy- who can’t be much older than us- and wraps the cloth tightly around the injury, tying it and smiling at him.

“Thank you,” he says. “I’m Connie, this is Sasha.”

“Eren and Mikasa,” I reply. “Is she all right? She’s a little… _too_ quiet.”

“Nah, she’s good. She’s just hungry. I mean, I am too, but it’s hard when she’s used to eating every five minutes.” He laughs and Mikasa tilts her head to the side as she looks at the brown-eyed girl.

“Here,” she says, digging through her bag. “It’s not much, but maybe enough to lift your spirits?” She holds a small bag of potato chips out to Sasha, which gets snatched from her hands in a heartbeat. Sasha gobbles down the chips quickly, and I’m surprised she has time to even breathe. She smiles and moves closer to Mikasa, tackling her in a hug.

“Thank you!” she squeals, nearly knocking Mikasa to the ground.

“Okay, uh, they’re just chips- careful, careful!” Mikasa has to push her back a bit and I snicker, shaking my head.

“So, are you together?” I ask Connie, looking at him. “Or, like..?”

“Yeah. Well, no. Maybe. Kinda.” He laughs quietly and says, “She’s really just my best friend, but we have our moments.” He smiles and asks, “And you?”

“Mikasa? No, no, no.” I nearly choke, trying not to laugh. “No, she’s my sister.” Connie gives me a weird look and I explain, “My family adopted her when we were nine, to put it simply. Her parents lived in Japan, which y’know, is one of the first few countries this thing hit.”

“Oh,” he says. “So she- _oh,_ I see. God, that’s gotta be hard.”

I merely shrug, nodding slowly. “Yeah. We’re both hanging in there, though. This whole damn thing is a mess.” I cough and look at the girls, who seem to be getting along just fine. “Then, y’know, we lived in Florida, where it… spread first. We’ve been on the road for five years now.”

“Damn,” he says. And that’s that.

“Connie?” Sasha says, hopping over to him. “When are we getting to New York?”

“It’s gonna be a while, Sash,” he says. “This is only Texas.”

“Oh,” I say silently. “Didn’t you hear?”

“Hear what?” asks Sasha.

“A gas station a few towns over had the news on. I, uh… they said basically that the entire northeast is in ruins. Like, burnt to the ground.”

Sasha’s face falls as if she just watched me kill a puppy. “No,” she whispers. “God, no, no, no…”

“I, uhm, I’m sorry,” I say, scratching my neck.

“It’s okay,” she sniffles. “It’s just- our friends, Ymir and Krista, they were waiting for us in New York… But we haven’t spoken to them since before the cell tower outage.” She rubs her leg with her other foot and stares at the ground.

“I’m really sorry about your friends,” Mikasa says lightly as I put my hands in my pockets.

We’re all quiet for a while until Connie says, “We should set up a campfire, take shifts sleeping.”

We don’t even have to say anything more before we’ve got sticks collected and a fire set up, the girls sleeping while Connie and I stare out into the dark, trying to pass the time.

“You mind if I ask how you shot yourself?” I ask, trying to break the awkward silence.

“What? Oh. That.” He winces as if it hurts more just at remembering it again. “We were in Odessa. The entire city, it’s infected. Seems to be like that in all bigger cities. And there was this group I saw, these three people who were running towards us, and one of them got dragged away. By one of those _things_ \- whether you wanna call it a zombie or infected or undead or what have you- and that guy turned almost instantly, started running after his friends. I shot him down, but I slipped and ended up falling on my gun. Shot myself in the arm before Sasha pulled me up and kept running with me. Scary as hell, man.”

“ _Odessa?_ Damn, you couldn’t have been bleeding like that all week!”

“Nah, we didn’t walk that far. We hopped on a truck for almost the whole way. We’d only been running or a few hours ‘til you found us.”

“Oh. That makes sense then.” I sigh, leaning back. “We haven’t traveled any way but by foot for a year now. We’ve been in Texas for _ages.”_

“Damn, that sucks ass. There aren’t many trucks that come ‘round here, I know. Just gotta keep hoping, I guess.”

“We’ve been hoping and praying and wishing since we were little. Got us _somewhere,_ I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

And we’re quiet again. I’ve always felt uncomfortable in the silence, but maybe it’s better this way. Calm, somewhat relaxing. I kick at a tarantula on my boot and wrinkle my nose in disgust. I hate spiders. After a bit, we wake up Sasha and Mikasa just before we fall asleep, and I soon relax, letting my dreams take me somewhere better.

When I wake up, I can’t remember what I dreamt about, and Mikasa is still asleep. Both Sasha and Connie are gone and I groan. I nudge Mikasa’s arm and she blinks awake, immediately noticing the absence of the duo as well. She dives into her backpack and curses loudly.

“They took our water, _and_ most of our food. Fuck!” She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. “Oh, goddammit.”

“We would’ve done the same,” I point out.

“Whatever.” She stands up and I follow suit, beginning to walk out until we spot a highway. Or, at least, _some_ sort of road. We can’t really tell the difference anymore. I almost scream like a giddy little girl when I see a black pickup truck barreling down the road, and we both begin to run at it. The minute we’re close enough, we jump on the back, ducking down so we’re not seen by the driver. We grin at each other and face up at the bright sky for nearly four hours until the truck stops at a gas station. We jump out and walk inside, hands on our guns just in case.

We find it to be completely empty of life; shelves knocked over and glass refrigerator doors shattered. We hurry up and shove anything we can fit into our bags, stocking up on water, juices, and smashed crackers and cookies. We also snatch a couple cigarette lighters, for just-in-case purposes.

By the time we get out, the pickup’s already gone, and we’re completely clueless as to where we are. However, it looks to be relatively civilized- or, at least, that it _once_ was before it was abandoned. We starts walking around, and a sign not too far from the as station says we’re in some town called Trinidad, Colorado.

“Goddamn,” I say with a short laugh. “I forgot how far cars can travel in a matter of only tree and a half hours.”

“You’re telling me,” Mikasa says. “Is that a church?” She points across the way to an old white building which bears a sign reading “Ave Maria” and I grimace at it.

“Creepy,” I shiver.

“Eren, this is a ghost town, what do you expect?” Mikasa scoffs. “Come on, we need to find shelter.”

We walk around the town, past the half-burnt down opera house, stepping over broken stoplights on the ground, and trying not to notice the time-frozen corpses of innocent humans on the sides of the road. Finally, we come across a little street where several houses that all look too similar for my taste line up evenly. We enter one of them, where a fridge has been left open and a television screen is broken into a million tiny fragments. We look around before deciding there’s nothing of benefit here and we move on.

The minute Mikasa steps inside the next house, she shrieks like I’ve never heard before. I take one glance at the scene before yanking her out by her arm and ushering her to move on. It’s like a scene from a horror film; the entire place is splattered with blood and brain matter, bodies of what was once a happy family now lying lifeless on the floor with their jaws hanging open. Finally, when I see the body of a helpless child, I force myself to leave. Maybe I should try to use the cigarette lighters to burn the image from my mind.

As we continue walking down the road, we hear loud sobbing and we see a girl maybe only a couple years older than us kneeling on the ground, her hands on the chest of some man on the ground.

“Franz, no, no, please come back to me… Franz, baby, please, p- _please…”_

We get closer and I know immediately what’s going to happen to him, just from seeing his sickly pale-green skin and the bloody bite mark on his arm.

“Girl, you need to _run. Now,”_ I say in a stern voice.

“The- the zombie got him, a-and I shot it dead, b-but he’s… he’s gonna-“

“If he’s gonna turn, you need to _run!”_ I repeat, pulling the girl to her feet. “Mikasa, take her away.”

Mikasa hoists the defiant girl over her shoulder and begins running, the shrieks of “Franz!” and “no!” drowned out by a gust of wind. I point my gun at the so-called “Franz”’s head and pull the trigger the minute his hand moves in the slightest.

When I get back to Mikasa, she points to he girl running off tearfully and sighs. “Poor girl,” is all she can say before we begin moving once more.

We share an apple juice and a pack of crackers in the two hours that we walk, and finally, we come across a dirt road in the middle of beautiful grassy scenery that just doesn’t seem to belong in such a deserted, dry state. I look over at Mikasa and sigh, closing my eyes.

“You know what day it is, don’t you?” I say quietly, biting my tongue afterward.

“What?”

“The date, You’ve figured it out, haven’t you? That’s why you’re being so quiet?”

Mikasa doesn’t answer for a few minutes. She finally manages to say, “Yeah. Yeah, I know, Eren.”

I stare at the ground, wiping beads of sweat from my forehead. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“I’m sorry it’s May nineteenth.”

We’re silent again, this time for much longer than before. I glance at the shining golden sun gradually setting behind the rocky mountains before staring at my boots once more, coughing and pulling a bandana from my neck up around my mouth.

“She was _your_ mom, too,” I say, my words muffled by the cloth.”

Mikasa just stares at me, obviously upset. “Yeah. I know.”

I feel a pang of guilt in my chest and I look away from her. “I shouldn’t have said that. Or _anything._ I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Mikasa shrugs, pulling her own red bandana over her mouth as well. I hate when she’s quiet on this day every year; if she spoke up, I’d be able to distract myself from my memories. Yet, every year it comes around, and every time, we somehow realize it, and she’s silent as a mouse.

I manage to shake it off, because my the time we meet a split in the road, we see someone pointing a dangerously large gun our way. Mikasa and I put our hands in the air in surrender, only to nearly get shot by the deranged man.

“Hey! What are you _doing?!”_ I yell, furrowing my eyebrows. The man gets close enough to knock me to the ground, and I have to shove Mikasa away by her foot to make sure she doesn’t attack him- not _yet,_ anyways.

“You’re really alive,” he finally says before helping me up.

“Yeah, but _you_ might not be if you pull another stunt like that one,” I threaten.

“Sorry, sorry. Oi, you teenagers sure are feisty.”

“Yeah, well, I think everyone left with a pulse at this moment is pretty riled up now.” I brush the sand from my jacket and shake my head, already not liking this guy. “Was the universal sign for surrender and my yelling in English not proof enough for you, or..?”

“I said sorry. Geez, people make mistakes.”

“I’m sure you’re quite familiar with that, huh?” Mikasa says, crossing her arms.

“Hey. I don’t need lip from you,” he says, pointing at her. He slings his gun over his shoulder so it hands behind him from his shoulder strap. “That goes for both of you. What are you, twelve?”

“Ha-ha.” I roll my eyes. “Fifteen, thank you very much,” I reply. “ _You’re_ the one who looks twelve. Jesus, are you five-foot-two?”

“ _Three_ ,” he corrects with a scowl. “But still stronger than the both of you combined.”

“Mhm. Okay, shortstack,” I say sarcastically.

“Oh, shut it, you puberty-ridden brat,” he demands with a frown. He straightens his jacket sleeves and sighs. “Sorry. It’s been a long-ass day.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I say, trailing off into a whisper as I look over to Mikasa. “Well, if it means anything to you, I’m Eren.”

“Mikasa,” she pipes up.

He nods and holds his hand out for both of us to shake. “I’m Levi. From Chicago originally, although I lived in Oklahoma for a while before it broke out there.”

“Ah. We’ve been running for five years- well, technically three. The first two, we had somebody to take care of us,” I say.

“Didn’t you just say you were fifteen?” he questions.

“Yeah. Our mom, um… Well, things happened back in Florida, shit went down, and a family friend took us to Louisiana to stay with him, that lasted ‘til we were twelve. So we’ve been running on our own since then. We’ve gotten further today than I think we ever did in those three years, though. Thank god for trucks.” I laugh and shrug nonchalantly.

“But you’re really only fifteen,” Levi says dumbfoundedly. He seems absolutely appalled that people our age could manage so well, apparently.

“Yeah, and the sky is blue,” Mikasa says. I nudge her with my elbow and point to the sky, laughing a bit.

“Actually, right now, it’s orange,” I giggle, earning myself a slap on the arm.

“Oh, shut up,” she says. I look back over to Levi and his eyes are still fixed on us in shock, mouthing “fifteen” to himself over and over again.

“Okay, what’s so surprising at the fact we’re fifteen? Seriously, you’re getting pedophile-y on us here,” Mikasa says.

“It’s just…” Levi shakes his head. “I’ve never met anyone so much like me before.”

 


	2. Chapter Two

Two weeks later, we’re all traveling together like some sort of family unit. It isn’t until Levi decides to stop in some drugstore and buy-or, rather, _steal_ \- a pack of cigarettes that more conflict arises.

“What are you doing?” Mikasa questions, glaring at the chemical stick between his teeth.

“Uh, looking for a lighter?” he says as if she’s stupid. “God, I think they’re all out here.”

“Why the _hell_ are you-“

“Mikasa, calm down,” I intervene. “Levi, maybe you could smoke at another time. We have lighters on us; just take the cigarettes and go. We need to keep moving.”

“Another time? Kid, I’ve been craving nicotine for weeks now. This _is_ my ‘other time’.”

I pull him aside and whisper, “Mikasa just has this problem with them, okay? Triggers bad memories for her, although I’m not really sure what from. If you could, like, _not_ do it around her, it’d be greatly appreciated.”

Levi looks at my red-faced sister and sighs, putting the cigarette back into the pack. “Okay, not around her,” he agrees. “But I need to soon, or it won’t just be zombies I’m killing.”

I turn back to Mikasa, my porcelain doll of a sister looking at me nervously for a reason I can never understand. “Ready to keep going?” I ask, clearing my throat in the process. Everyone nods and I put my hand on Levi’s arm accidentally to keep myself from tripping over an upturned tile in the floor. “Sorry,” I mumble, quite embarrassed.

“It’s fine,” he grumbles back, and our eyes lock for a moment, my heart nearly stopping in my chest for a reason I’m not exactly sure of. I start walking out of the store hurriedly with my hands in my pockets, stopping only when I hear collective bloodcurdling screeches off in the distance.

“They’re close,” I whisper. Levi and Mikasa nod, all three of us pulling out our guns as we start to move stealthily down the road. The noise seems to get louder and louder with every passing moment, and I swear my heartbeat is echoing through my ears. We come across a deserted little shack-like building and quickly hide inside, Levi and I watching from the empty doorway.

We spot a couple of the things- or _zombies_ as Levi likes to all them- walking down the road, screeching and groaning miserably. Mikasa taps my shoulder rapidly and I brush her off, putting my finger to my lips, She whimpers and I whip around, looking to where she points. Right by her foot is not only a whole group of tarantulas, but a clan of rattlesnakes as well, heads raised and tails ready to shake. Levi sees them and scrunches his nose, conveying the disgust I’m feeling internally.

“Count of three,” I whisper to both of them. “One… two… _three._ ”

We jump out of the shack and away from the snakes and spiders, shooting viciously at the creatures that were once human but are now only possessed hosts of the infection. They scream and wail in stomach-churning unison, falling to the ground as if they’re in slow motion. Levi grabs a few sticks and I hand him one of our lighters, watching as he sets the sticks on fire before setting the bodies ablaze. We evacuate in a flash and, as if by some miracle from the gods, a semi begins plowing along the road, looking quite out of place on the dirty path. We all manage to hop on the truck, sliding into the trailer section with ease.

And so, we sit in the dark. And we wait.

I feel Mikasa slip a water bottle from her bag into my hands and I suppose she did the same for Levi, as when I take a drink, I heard sounds of two other bottles crinkling in unison.

After a little while, Mikasa tells me she’s going to sleep for a bit, and I hear her scoot away until I know she’s really sleeping. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my thigh, and I gasp.

“Oh, oops. Sorry ‘bout that,” Levi apologizes. When he removes his hand, I can’t help but notice how my skin is left with a strange tingling feeling.

“It’s okay,” I sputter out, glad he can’t see me blush in the dark.

“Hey,” he whispers, “since your sister’s asleep, do you think that maybe I could, ah, smoke now? Sorry, I’m just sorta dying over here.”

“Go ahead,” I say with a shrug. “But if she wakes up, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I hand him the lighter in my pocket and watch as, for milliseconds at a time, the sparking flame illuminates his face. He gets his cigarette to light and takes a long drag, the end of it glowing red as he does so.

“Thanks,” he says with a puff of smoke. “I promise I’ll give you your lighter back eventually… ‘Til then, I’m just gonna keep it.”

“That’s all right,” I reply, waving the smoke away from my face.

Suddenly, the semi jerks to a stop and I can hear the sound of something slamming against the exterior. Levi puts his cigarette out just in time, as Mikasa sits up quickly from her slumber.

“What the hell was that?” she exclaims groggily. “Ugh, it smells like cigarette smoke in here.”

“Never mind that,” I answer quickly. “We need to get out.”

We hop out of the back, being sure the heavy door slides back down, and we slowly peer around the truck before carefully beginning to walk forward. We hear that horrid screeching and jump up to the driving compartment only to see one of those pale-green creatures with its head through the windshield, gnawing on the semi driver. I shoot it immediately, watching as it rolls off the semi, then Mikasa mercilessly shoots at the being which was once the driver without batting an eye. She kicks him out of the truck and onto the dusty ground, and then seats herself in the cramped backseat.

“Go!” I scream, and Levi floors the gas pedal, speeding away from the scene. We only manage to get a hundred miles in before the gas light blinks on, leaving us to feel less than hopeless. After all, the last gas station in sight was over fifty miles back.

“No!” I cry. “No, no, no!”

“Eren, it’s okay, we can walk again-“

“No, Mikasa! You don’t get it!” I cut her off, shaking my head. “I don’t know where we are, I don’t know where those goddamn ‘zombie’ things are at, and I don’t even think we’re ever gonna-“

“Shh!” Levi hisses. “If you shut up and stopped being a drama queen, you would’ve seen _that!”_

He points in the distance and on the very edge of the horizon, I see another gas station perfectly placed there as if by magic. He shifts back into drive and beings hauling the truck over to the station, puling up to a diesel pump. I watch curiously as he swipes a credit card and fills the tank with gas, feeling like it’s taking seven years just for the tank to ever fill completely. Once he gets back in, we both stare at him, and he raises an eyebrow.

“What?” he says. “It’s not like it’s brain surgery. It’s literally just a stolen credit card.”

“Stolen?” Mikasa repeats.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t think the undead are really planning on going on a shopping spree anytime soon, so it doesn’t matter.” He starts driving again and somehow, I feel relaxed. Our hair flutters in the wind that blows through the broken windshield, and Mikasa reaches forward and grabs my hand tightly.

“You okay?” I ask, looking back at her worriedly. She nods and smiles gently, giving my hand a light squeeze. I squeeze her hand right back and I watch as the sky shifts from orange to red to purple, until it finally fades to black and the only light I can see is the stars dusted all across the sky.

“Look over there,” Mikasa points out after a bit. “It’s a building.”

“It _was_ a building,” Levi says. “It looks like it’s faced a hundred natural disasters and then some.”

He’s not wrong. Half the building is literally in ashes, and the other half looks ready to crumble as is. Yet, for some reason, we get out of the truck, and we enter.

Inside, we’re utterly amazed at what we find. Several people, possibly even ten, crowd around small campfires, with sleeping bags piled around on the ground and food wrappers scattered everywhere. It’s messy, but obviously a safe haven.

“Tch.” Levi paces around, examining his new surroundings. “This place is filthy.”

“Seriously? How’d I know you were going to say that?” I roll my eyes and feel Mikasa brush her fingers against my arm, reassuring me that she’s still here. I turn around to see a petite blonde girl run up to us, wildflowers delicately woven through her hair.

“Hello,” she greets. A taller girl walks up behind her, brushing strands of dark hair from her eyes. “I’m Krista, and this is my girlfriend Ymir. And this is our little group of friends.”

The one called Ymir wraps an arm around Krista’s waist and points at each person. “The drunk one over in the corner is Jean. Those two tall dudes with the chick are Bertholdt and Reiner, and Annie’s her name. They always stick together, but we don’t know if they’re in a relationship or just really close. They never give a straightforward answer.”

Krista finishes naming everyone else for Ymir and finally says, “We’ve been expecting two others for quite some time now, although I don’t believe they’ll really ever find us here. Last they knew, we were in New York. We fled here right before the universal cell tower outage.”

Mikasa and I look at each other before asking, “Are their names Sasha and Connie?”

The girls nod, Krista gasping quietly. “How’d you know?” she inquires.

“We met them back in Texas a couple weeks ago. Just outside Amarillo, to be exact. They mentioned people named Ymir and Krista, but they ran off just as quick as they came to us,” Mikasa explains, leaving out all the negative parts more or less for Ymir and Krista’s sake.

The two finally let us go and I see Levi venturing around the vicinity by himself while Mikasa and I walk over to the lonely drunk in the corner.

“Uh, hi,” Mikasa says first, crouching down by him. “Are you Jean?”

He looks at us and sighs, tapping his empty beer bottle against his knee. “Do bears shit in the woods?” he retorts.

I expect Mikasa to be offended, but if she is, she doesn’t show it. “I think you have a nice name,” she says, toying with her bandana. “Is it French?”

“Yeah, it’s a family name,” he grunts, but I can see he’s already starting to open up just a little more at her gentle kindness. “Ah- I don’t mean to sound offensive, but are you one of them oriental girls?”

Mikasa nods, sighing a bit. “Yeah. I was born in Japan. My mother was full-blooded Japanese, but my father was European. My family moved to Florida when I was nine… er, it’s actually a bit more complex than that.”

Jean turns to her, dropping his beer bottle to the side as his palms face the ceiling. “I have time.”

I decide to leave them alone and once again, I find myself wandering around by Levi’s side like a lost dog. “So,” I say to him, “tell me about yourself.”

“Seriously?” he scoffs. “One, that’s _horribly_ cliché, and two, you’ve known me for two weeks now, there’s not anything to tell.”

“Hmm, not true. You are most definitely _not_ an open book.” I sit on the ground where there must have once been a real floor, patting a spot next to me for Levi to sit down upon. “All I know about you is as follows: your name’s Levi, you’re from Chicago but lived in Oklahoma for a short time, you’re strong, smart, pissy as fuck, and for a huge clean freak, you sure do like to mess up your lungs. There’s gotta be more to you than that.”

Levi bends down to pick up half of a porcelain teacup on the ground and looks at it sadly before deciding to sit by me. “Okay, well, what do you _want_ to know?”

“Last names are usually a start,” I suggest with a meek shrug.

“I’m just Levi,” he says before blowing some dirt off the piece of china. “Nothing more, nothing less. Just Levi.”

“Oh,” I say silently. “Okay then.”

“What about you?” he asks.

“My last name? Jaeger. It’s German. Mikasa’s is different, though. Like… in the midst of all this apocalyptic shit, we never really _legally_ adopted her, we basically just took her in, I guess. Her last name is Ackerman.”

“We’re just focusing on you right now,” he snaps quickly with a harsh tone. “I’ll get all warm and fuzzy with her later.”

His sudden temper confuses me, but I let it slide. “Okay,” I say. “How old are you, exactly?”

“I turned thirty last Christmas,” he answers. “I feel older.”

“You look younger,” I mumble with a burn in my cheeks.

“Thanks, I guess. Unless you’re talking about my height again, which in that case, fuck you.”

“You wish.”

“Oh, har-har.” Levi rolls his eyes and focuses on the teacup shard again, pursing his lips. “Where are you going?”

“I was planning on Canada or somewhere else up north, but… now I’m not sure,” I reply cautiously.

“Why not?”

_Because I’m not sure about anything anymore_ , I think. I merely shrug. “Dunno. Maybe Santa and all the moose up north have already turned zombie on us.”

Levi laughs at that, and I can’t help but feel good that I made this tough guy smile. He finds a worm on the porcelain and throws the whole thing out of the little fortress with a look of absurd disgust. I glance over at Mikasa and Jean, only to see the drunkard hanging onto my sister, no matter how much she tries to gently push him away.

“I’ll be back,” I mutter angrily, standing up and walking over to them. “Mikasa, I think Levi wanted to talk to you,” I say through clenched teeth once I reach her.

“Nnno, no, no, she’s okay. She’s hanging with me, bro, it’s all cool,” Jean slurs, his breath reeking of shitty alcohol.

“I’m not your ‘bro’,” I sneer. “I know she’s fine, but she just needs to talk to our friend for five seconds.” I pull Mikasa up and she gives me a silent but grateful look.

“Hey, hey!” Jean says, getting louder. “What do you think you’re doing?!” He stands up and I lightly push Mikasa away as Jean leers closer to me.

“I’m not asking for any trouble here,” I say.

“Oh, but you are, kid, you are.” Jean throws his fist at my jaw but misses, and I take his arm and twist it around, nearly snapping it until he kicks my legs out from underneath me. He almost kicks me in the jaw until he gets thrown back by an unseen force and his arm smashes into his beer bottle from earlier. I feel a hand pull me up and I see my savior is none other than Levi, who stares me in the eyes once I reach his level.

“Are you okay?” he asks gruffly, and I respond with a nod and a cough.

“Yeah. Thanks,” I say. He puts his hand on my shoulder to help me regain balance and our eyes lock again. “Really, ah… thank you.”

Just as Jean opens his mouth to yell something at me again, we all turn to Mikasa as she suddenly shrieks, “ _Armin?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like cliffhangers if this wasn't evident enough oops  
> IT'S A BAD HABIT I'M SORRY I need to work on it


	3. Chapter Three

My head spins around 360 degrees like something out of demonic possession and, in a loud whisper, I hiss, “ _What did you just say?”_

Mikasa points through the deteriorating doorway and whispers, “That person. They look like Armin.”

I get a better look and say, “Mikasa, that’s definitely Armin…” I pause. “…but he’s not a person.”

My heart falls and I have to choke back a short cry as he turns and looks at us. One look at his glowing eyes tells me I’m right- our long-lost childhood friend is no longer himself.

Ymir jumps out of nowhere, yelling, “Get back!” I’m not sure if she’s talking to the Armin-zombie or everyone inside, but we all step back anyways. She doesn’t hesitate before she’s aiming her gun at him and her finger is placed on the trigger.

“No!” Mikasa screams in a sob, but Levi and I both have to hold her back as Ymir shoots him to the ground. She shoots once more until she’s sure he’s gone, and then turns back to see my sister crying in my arms.

“What’s her problem?” Ymir scoffs. I motion to Levi and he picks up on the hint, holding Mikasa for me so I can explain to Ymir on the side. I stand up and get closer to her, then I whisper, “He was a friend of ours. Once, anyways. She knows it’s not really _him_ anymore, but… she jusit has trouble with all of it, y’know?”

Ymir nods. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I know how hard it is. Lost my entire family and I would’ve lost my Krista girl if I’d been a second too late saving her. This whole thing, man, it’s fucked. It’s seriously, genuinely fucked.”

“Tell me about it.” I walk off and huddle next to Mikasa, soothing her with my touch. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” I say. “He was gone long before that.”

“I know,” she cries. “That just makes it _worse_.”

“How so?” I ask.

Mikasa looks at me with a raging fire in her eyes and she says, “Because he didn’t get to die as himself. And that’s the worst way to go, Eren.”

\---

February 10, 2034

“Mama, when’s that doctor guy coming?” Mikasa asked, playing with the sleeves on her dress.

“Any minute now, dear,” Mrs. Ackerman replied with a soft smile. “Darling, I believe we’re forgetting something.”

“Forgetting what?” Mr. Ackerman teased. “Ohh, I see.”

Mikasa giggled, knowing what was coming. She tapped her fingers on the table, counting to _one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine._

“Hmm, I _think_ it’s a special day,” her father led on, looking from his wife to his daughter. “Yeah, a _really_ special day… Well, it’s not Valentine’s Day yet, not for four more days… Not any other holiday, no?”

Mikasa just couldn’t contain herself. “Birthday, Papa! _Birthday.”_

“Birthday?” Mr. Ackerman slapped his forehead. “Of course! Hmm. Well, I know it’s not _my_ birthday… Honey, is it _your_ birthday?”

Mrs. Ackerman shook her head with a smile. “No, I can’t say it is.”

“That must mean…” Mr. Ackerman gasped. “Mikasa! It must be _your_ birthday!” He swooped the small girl up into his arms and tickled her, blowing raspberries on her neck.

“Papa! Papa, stop! That tickles!” Mikasa squealed through her laughter.

“Happy birthday, lovey-dovey,” her mother said, putting a small cupcake in front of her. “May this year be the best-“

She was cut off by a knock on the door, and she quickly went to answer it. “Dr. Jaeger, hello,” she said, smoothing out the wrinkles in her apron.

“Please, call me Grisha. I hope you don’t mind, but I brought my son with me today. Eren, say hello.”

“Hello.” Eren Jaeger hid behind his father, his dark green eyes glistening in the light.

“So, this is our daughter, Mik-“

Everyone paused when they heard an eerily close screaming noise, too shrill to be human.

“They’re close,” Grisha immediately said, looking out the large picture window in the Ackermans’ living room. “They’ll be here in minutes, it isn’t safe to be here.”

“Who will be here?” Mikasa asked. “Papa, Mama, who is talking about?” She stepped on her tiptoes and tried to see out the window, but to no avail.

“Not a ‘who’, dear, they’re a ‘what’.” Mrs. Ackerman pulled her daughter away from the window and shut it, grabbing wooden planks from a pile in the corner. “We need to board up the windows, lock the doors…”

The screeching cut her off once more, but this time, it came from right down the street.

“Eren, remember what I told you?” Grisha asked. Eren nodded, tugging on Mikasa’s hand.

“Go, Mikasa,” her mother said. “Go with Dr. Jaeger. You’ll be safe, really.”

“Mama, what about you and Papa?”

“We’ll be fine,” her father reassured her. “Now, _go._ Do as he tells you no matter what, understand?”

“I understand, Papa.”

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her forehead one last time and whispered, “Happy birthday, my darling daughter,” before she was pulled away by Grisha and Eren.

The minute she got in the car, she saw deformed, stumbling figures break inside her home. She watched helplessly as the foreign beings attacked her parents.

“Mama! Papa!” she screamed, banging on the car window as they began to speed away. Eren stared straight ahead as his father rolled down the window and shot at the crowd of monsters, Mikasa’s undead parents falling with them all in only _one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine_ seconds.

Eren shielded Mikasa’s eyes from seeing any more and he whispered to her, “You can live with us now. I’m real sorry about your parents.” He untied his red bandana around his neck and gave it to her with a toothless half-smile. “Here,” he said. “It’s a lucky bandana.”

“Where are we going?” Mikasa asked, tying the bandana around her own neck.

“Heard of Florida?”

“In _America?”_

“Yeah. My mom’s already there, she’ll love you a lot.”

“Eren.” Grisha stared at the two in his rearview mirror, frowning. “Remember what I said about talking too much.”

“Oh. Right.” Eren reached over to hug Mikasa, which she took in gladly. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

Mikasa nodded, a few tears falling on Eren’s shirt.

“Hey,” Eren said. He wrapped his pinky finger around Mikasa’s, looking her in the eyes. “I promise.”

\---

Today- June 2, 2040

Jean manages to somehow stagger over to Armin’s lifeless body, getting a good look at him before yelling, “I know this kid!”

“Ignore him, he’s just a drunk idiot,” I tell Mikasa. She nods and clutches onto me, closing her eyes as she buries her face in my chest.

Jean trips on his own feet as he comes over to us, and repeats loudly, “I really knew him, I did!”

“Maybe you should mention it _later,”_ Levi says sternly, obviously not willing to put up with his drunken shit at this hour.

Jean shakes his head and just continues to babble on, some saliva drooling out of his mouth as his dazed eyes try desperately to fix onto one thing. “I was in Arkansas when I met him. Hit name was like, Armin Ar-Ar… Arnold? No. Wait.” He leans against the wall and closes his eyes. “Armin _Arlert,_ ” he says with a snap, his eyes flicking open again. “Scared little kid, but pretty damn smart.”

I raise my eyebrows and hold my breath. “Okay,” I say slowly, “so you knew him.”

Jean sighs and puts his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I did. For six months, or somethin’ like that, he traveled around with me and uh, and my Marco. Well, Marco turned. Got infected. And… I got away just in time to see him turn Armin, too.”

Mikasa stops crying. She looks at all of us with those huge dark eyes of hers and says, “We need to get out of here.”

We all stare at her in confusion, even the people in the corner who seemed to ignore us completely before.

“What?” I say, coming out harsher than I’d intended.

“If Armin was out there, then others have gotta be around. They don’t travel alone.”

We all pause and listen as a herd of screeches sound over the horizon. Mikasa’s right as hell.

“Run,” I say. “ _Run!_ Everybody, we need to leave now!”

Levi, Mikasa, and I scramble to get inside the semi we drove here in, Mikasa taking the wheel this time.

“Waist,” Levi says. “We should let everyone in the back.”

“We don’t have time!” I argue.

“It’ll be less _things_ we have to fight later on, just wait for one goddamn minute!”

Some people already leave in their own vehicles, but Jean, Bertholdt, Reiner, Annie, and someone I forget the name of all board into the semi trailer with Levi’s help. Levi gets back in and yells at Mikasa, “Drive!”

Mikasa begins speeding away the minute we see an impossibly huge group of the undead topple over each other coming up through the desert. Soon enough, they’ve reached us, and I see Ymir and Krista speed away in Krista’s high-speed car. However, all the other vehicles get attacked.

Mikasa screams as one jumps on the broken windshield, grabbing at her through the missing glass. Levi shoots it off and I help her steer away from it all. Levi kills a few more before we’ve finally outrun them, and I sigh in relief.

“Where to?” Mikasa says, looking to me.

I point to a deteriorating blue sign on the side of the road and say, “I don’t know about you guys, but I think everyone could really go for a break right now.”

Mikasa pulls off the road when we reach the rest area and we hop out, going around to slide the cargo trailer door up.

“Everyone okay?” I call. There’s a murmur of agreement and one by one, our new companions slide out. Mikasa and Annie walk to the restroom together, and the guy whose name I forget runs inside as well. The other three guys look around, probably trying to decide if they really want to piss in such a dirty place or not.

“It sure beats rattlesnakes biting at your dick,” Levi yells with a short laugh. They all stare at him blankly before shrugging and going inside, Jean having to hang onto the taller men so he won’t end up puking and falling down headfirst.

“What an idiot,” I mutter, leaning back against a broken vending machine. “We could all die at any given moment and he thinks it’s a great idea to go and get drunk? Real wise.”

Levi merely looks at me with rather empty eyes and chooses not to comment on it.

The horrified screams of three men sound right after a gunshot, and Levi and I quickly run into the building to investigate. On the ground in the stall farthest back is the body of the forgotten-name boy, his pistol in his mouth.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Levi says. I can’t do anything but stare.

“What was that?” I hear Mikasa say from behind us. “We heard- oh, my god.”

Everybody clears out and stays silent about the whole thing, but I can’t help but keep thinking about it. _Suicide._ The house we entered back in Trinidad was a massive murder-suicide, but it’s different. Especially when you see the person only a few seconds before they end their life.

I get back to the semi to see Mikasa, Levi, and Annie in the tiny backseat of the driving compartment, with Bertholdt, Jean, and Reiner up front, Reiner behind the wheel. For some reason, being a semi driver actually suits him well; all he needs to complete the look is a hat and tattoos of naked women all over his arms.

“Uh, okay,” I say, confused. “What about-“

“We detached the trailer,” Mikasa says. “It makes life a whole lot easier.”

“Easier,” I repeat. “Yeah, okay. I just don’t know where the hell _I’m_ supposed to sit.”

“You can sit on one of our laps,” my sister suggests innocently. “It’s not like it’s going to hurt anything.”

I look over every passenger in the crowded back with anxious eyes. I’m not sitting on Mikasa; although she’s the strongest girl I’ve ever met in my whole life, I still see her as too fragile. Not Annie, because I barely know her, and not-

“I don’t mind it,” Levi says. “Either way, you gotta hurry.”

I huff and climb into the back reluctantly, plopping down on Levi. “You could be my _dad,”_ I grumble, although it’s more of a way to convince _myself,_ less so on Levi’s part.

“Didn’t your dad ever let you sit in his lap? Jesus, what kind of childhood did you have?”

I glare at him and my fists clench, my eyes burning red.

“It was a _joke,”_ he says.

“It wasn’t a funny one.” I cross my arms and try hard to ignore that _oh my god, I’m sitting on Levi’s lap_ and _oh my god, has he always been this hot?_

After all, he could be my _dad._

Levi’s hand covers mine and he pulls at my fingers, undoing the tight fist I’ve made. “Calm down,” he says in my ear, and I shudder at the feeling of his breath on my neck.

As Reiner drives and Jean bobs his head against Bertholdt’s shoulder, and Annie hums while Mikasa falls asleep, I feel myself getting a bit drowsy.

“I’m gonna… fall… asleep…” I warn Levi, yawning ferociously.

“That’s okay,” he says. And for the first time in the whole two weeks I’ve known him, he sounds gentle, patient. I nod slowly and doze off, Levi’s arms acting as a seatbelt around my waist so I don’t potentially fall off of him.

And for the first time in years, I feel safe.


	4. Chapter Four

When I wake up, the sun is shining and I don’t see anyone else in the semi. That is, of course, until I feel Levi’s hands on my stomach. “Where is everyone?” I ask, not even bothering to see if he’s awake. “Mi-Mikasa! Where’s Mikasa?!”

“Calm down,” Levi says, sounding extremely tired. “We found a diner, they scoped it out, now they’re eating inside.”

“Why aren’t you?” I rub my eyes and turn around to look at him, seeing the dramatic dark circles under his eyes.

“Because you looked so calm sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you.”

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks again and I hide my face from view, moving his hands off of me so I can get out.

Once my feet hit the ground, I breathe in heavily and stretch my arms, realizing just how cramped it is in the back.

“Can you help me down?” Levi calls, but it doesn’t really register until he jumps down by himself with a sigh and lands on the pavement, scratching his hands all up.

“ _Shit,_ I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“It’s fine,” he grumbles, knocking his shoulder into mine as he brushes past me. “Oh, and…” he turns around with a sneer. “…don’t worry. Your little teenage hormone-induced boner wasn’t too much of an inconvenience for anyone.” He walks into the diner, leaving me to stare at the back of his head with my jaw hung open in offended shock.

When I finally regain enough dignity to face everyone again, I stride inside coolly and sit down at the empty seat between Jean and Mikasa, right across from Levi. Mikasa’s already halfway done with her pancakes, but Annie’s barely touched hers at all.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Bertholdt asks with a mouthful of eggs and bacon. Annie shakes her head and slides her plate over to him, blowing her blonde hair out of her eyes.

“It’s been a long time since we had real food,” Reiner says. “A _long_ time.”

“Same here,” I reply quietly, staring down at my empty placemat.

An older waitress with hideously fake red hair turns up the volume on the small TV in the corner, and the news reporters are talking about rising infection rates in some smaller European countries, like Iceland and Luxembourg.

“The whole world’s just fallin’ apart,” the waitress says, shaking her head. She mutes the TV again and walks away, ignoring my slightly raised hand.

“That’s not even our waitress. Don’t worry, she’ll be over in a minute,” Mikasa says, poking at a blueberry with her fork.

Soon enough, a brown-haired woman with broken glasses held together only by duct tape comes over to us, pulling her notepad out. “Sorry about that,” she says. “I had a personal call that took longer than expected- _Levi?!”_

Levi stares at her for a long time before he stands up. “I thought you died,” he says hoarsely.

“No,” she says. “No, I’m here. Erwin and I thought _you_ were a goner.”

“So did I.” Levi teeters back a bit before she hugs him tightly, nearly pushing him out of his seat. Mikasa gives me a confused sideways glance and I shrug, not wanting to seem like I actually _care_ about Levi right now.

“Um, ah,” Levi stammers. “This is Hanji Zoe, my… my old friend.”

“Me and Levi go _way_ back,” she giggles. “Gosh, I’m so glad you’re here!”

“How’s everyone else?”

“Well, we got here, and I started working here ‘cuz why the hell not? And, uh, Erwin’s okay, yeah, he’s a bit beat up, but he’s good. And Mike…” she trails off, looking rather sad. “Mike’s gone.”

Levi pauses, biting his lip. “How’d he go?”

One look at Hanji’s solemn expression tells it all. Whoever Mike was, he went the worst way possible. “He turned so fast, Levi. And he tried to grab at me, but he ended up getting Erwin’s arm instead. It was so awful. And then some kid shot him and I had to… to hatchet off Erwin’s arm before the infection could spread. It’s been a rough week.”

Hanji shakes her head and Levi sits back down, his sad expression turning invisible as his emotionless one soon fades back.

“Anywho, what can I get you two?” Hanji immediately goes back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. “French boy?” she teases, looking at Levi.

“ _Omelette au fromage,”_ Levi teases right back, making Hanji laugh. “And a coffee as alway1s. Black, no sugar.”

“Cheese omelet with a coffee as bitter as you. Got it.”

Levi rolls his eyes and Hanji turns to me, pointing the end of her ink pen at me. “And you?”

“Just, uh…” I take a quick look at the menu, hiding my shaking hands under the table. _Of_ course, _I’m shaking. Why the_ hell _am I shaking?!_ “…just a strawberry crêpe and water.”

“Gotcha.” Hanji smiles at us- more specifically, at _Levi_ \- one last time before skipping off, her ponytail fluttering around behind her as she makes her way to the kitchen.

“Crêpes are French, you know,” Levi says to me.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not the idiot you’d like to think I am,” I retort with a frown.

“Ouch, harsh,” Levi snickers and picks at his fingernails with a sigh. “Really into _French_ things, are you?”

“Jesus, this is gayer than _me!”_ Reiner says before he and Bertholdt burst into laughter.

“Gay as it gets!” Bertholdt says while giggling.

Annie snorts, covering her mouth with her hand. Even Jean starts to laugh, although I think he just likes laughing at me no matter what the punchline is.

“I’m going to kill all of you,” Levi mutters.

“Oh my God,” I whisper, slinking down in my chair and covering my face with my hands.

“Eren,” Mikasa urges, tugging on my jacket sleeve.

_“What?!”_

She points at the muted television and I see it’s gone back to national news, focusing on the crises in America at the moment. The Brooklyn Bridge is burning to the ground. The I-75 highway that connects Ohio and Kentucky has a two-mile-long pile up, with over two hundred counted casualties already. Seattle and all surrounding suburbs are overrun with the infected. Higher borders are being built between us and Mexico, and a million Americans have already fled to Canada.

Everywhere we go, it’s going to be a danger zone.

\---

May 19, 2035

“Mom?” Mikasa called, running down the hallway. “Mom, where’s Dad at?”

“Out,” Carla responded, dipping her hands in the warm water of the sink as she cleaned off a plate. “Where’s Eren?”

“Right here,” ten-year-old Eren called from the living room. “Mom, why is the president dude so fat?”

“What?” Carla stepped into the living room, drying her hands on her apron. “Why are you watching the presidential speech?”

“Only thing on.” Eren shoved a handful or pretzels in his mouth as Mikasa sat next to him. “Seriously, Mom. Every channel, that fat’s dude on talking about the infection.”

“You don’t need to be watching this,” Carla snapped quickly. She swiped the remote control from Eren and fumbled with the buttons until finally clicking the television off.

“Mom?” Mikasa said, pulling her knees to her chest. “What’s an epi-epi… epide-“

“An epidemic?” Carla finished for her, anxiously staring over her head and out the window. “It’s when something, usually like a disease, spreads everywhere very quickly.”

“Oh.”

“ _Mooooom,_ why’d you have to shut it off?” Eren whined. “I was just getting ready to make fun of his beard.”

“Don’t be so disrespectful,” Carla scolded. “I may not agree with some of President Reiss’s politics, but blatant disrespect of his appearance is childish.”

“I can’t help it. I _am_ a child!” Eren giggled. Mikasa cracked a smile, and Eren exclaimed, “See?! Even Mikasa thinks it’s funny!”

“Shh!” Carla suddenly ushered. “Quiet!” She walked over to the front door and opened it with a panicked but grateful smile.

“Hannes!” Eren exclaimed. “Why’re you here? Have you seen my dad out anywhere?”

“Hi, Eren. Hi, Mikasa.” Hannes tipped his hat to them, making Mikasa’s faint smile grow a little bigger. He turned to face Carla again and whispered, “I have to car out front. Are you coming?”

“I just have to get my things,” Carla affirmed. “And call Grisha…”

“All right. Make it quick.”

Carla nodded and hugged Eren and Mikasa, kissing each of them on the forehead. “Go with Hannes in the car,” she said. “I’ll be right out in only a minute.”

“Are we moving _again?”_ Eren groaned.

“I’ll explain in the car. Now, really, go on!”

The kids trotted out to the car- a decently sized SUV in all actuality- and they sat quietly, the scene suddenly starting to feel too familiar for comfort.

Then came the horrible screeching they hadn’t heard in over a year.

“Oh, no,” Mikasa whispered. Eren reached over and squeezed Mikasa’s hand, patting it gently.

“Don’t worry, Mik,” he said hopefully. “Mom’s gonna be okay. Dad too.”

“Okay,” she accepted, although she couldn’t fully believe him. And so, the conversation ended there.

However, things took a dreadful turn for the worst when an earsplitting scream came from inside of the house. “Mom!” Eren yelped, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Stay here! Don’t get out!” Hannes yelled to the frightened boy. Eren quivered in his seat, gripping on to Mikasa for dear life. The front window of the house opened suddenly, and Carla’s face came into view. “Go!” she screamed. “Please be safe!” She burst into tears, beating against the window with her fists. “Please take care of each other, please!”

That was her last request before she was ruthlessly dragged away from the window to meet her fate.

“ _Mom! No!”_ Eren shrieked, pounding at the car door. “Please! _Please!”_

Hannes began driving away speedily, sadness in his eyes as he looked back to see Mikasa holding her sobbing brother.

“I want my mom, I want my mom,” Eren wept, heaving and breathing heavier than he ever had before. Mikasa held his hand to her chest, staying quiet as she combed her fingers through his soft hair. She was saving her tears for another time.

“Mr. Hannes, sir?” she said softly. “Do you know where our dad- er, Dr. Jaeger- is?” Hannes merely shook his head silently. “Did… did she know she was going to die?” the girl asked again. This time, he took longer before finally nodding.

Silence filled the car, all with the exception of the car engine hard at work and Eren’s muffled crying. As they left their beloved hometown, Mikasa asked yet another question. “Sir, where are we going?”

Hannes adjusted his hat in his rearview mirror, keeping an eye on the two. “We’re going to Lousiana.”

\---

Today- June 3, 2040

We all finish our food in silence and I avoid any contact possible with Levi the entire time, still absolutely humiliated by his comment outside.

“This is weird,” Jean finally says. I haven’t really heard him speak since his drunken episode last night, so I’m actually interested enough to listen to him. “I haven’t sat down without a worry in the world for over an hour, like, _ever._ Until now. This peace… it’s weird. I’m so used to being on the run, you know?”

Everyone collectively nods, of course, with the exception of Levi, whose face looks rather broken.

“You guys have never seen a time before the outbreak, have you?” he asks, looking bored but his eyes looking almost mortified.

“No,” we all say in unison.

“Well, I’m twenty-one, so when I was about three, it broke out in Russia first,” Bertholdt says. “But I don’t remember much of anything before then.”

“Up until I was twelve, the world was free of this shit,” Levi sighs. “I moved to America from Paris when I was seven, reasons definitely unrelated to this whole thing.”

My ears perk up at this. I didn’t know he was actually from France.

“I was living on the streets of Chicago when I first heard people mention the ‘zombie virus’. I thought it was a new video game.” He shakes his head sadly, almost regretfully. “It’s not as great when you realize it’s real life.”

“Levi!” Hanji yells suddenly from behind the counter. “Are you getting touchy-feely on us? Hold on, let me get a camera! You, Levi Ackerman! Being sentimental! Holy shit!”

I freeze and say, “I’m sorry, what did you just call him?”

“Uh, Levi?” Hanji repeats.

“No, the other part.”

“…Ackerman?”

Before I have time to react, a man who I assume to be the manager of the diner comes out behind Hanji and she grimaces, mouthing “sorry” to Levi, her face full of regret.

“You called?” he says, and I spot two guns in a holster around his waist. Doesn’t seem too professional to me.

“Oh, _fuck_ no,” Levi growls. “Hanji, what the literal hell? Working for him again?”

“Literally, this isn’t even what it looks like- Levi, just let me explain-“

“Let’s get out of here,” Levi says to us. “C’mon, guys.”

“No, I came out here at just the right time!” the man declares, laughing hardily. “It’s like magic. She said Ackerman and here we both are!”

“Levi, who the _hell_ is this?” I demand. I realize now why Levi reacted so strangely when I told him Mikasa’s last name.

“I’m Kenny Ackerman,” the man says, walking over and pulling a chair up behind Levi. “And I’m Levi’s father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b-t-dubs don't believe everything this man says because obviously he's a lying little shit okay yeah bye  
> also i don't wanna force y'all but i'd really appreciate it if you guys commented?? just so i know what you like and what you don't yeah ok


	5. Chapter Five

“Why am I just finding this out?” I say angrily. “It would’ve been interesting to know you have the same last name as my sister! Unless, of course, _everyone_ here is an Ackerman but me. Jean, are _you_ an Ackerman? Annie, what about you? Bertholdt? Reiner? Are you guys Ackermans too?!”

Mikasa puts her hand on my arm. “Eren, calm down, it’s just a surname-“

“Really? Is it really _just_ a surname? Because when this guy walked over just now, you looked like you were getting ready to punch him. A face you only give when you _know_ someone is worthy of being punched! Now, for Christ’s fucking sake, would somebody tell me how the _fuck_ you know this man?!”

Mikasa places her hand on my back and looks at me worriedly. “Breathe, Eren. Breathe. You’re just stressed, yeah? It’s okay. Breathe. Deep breaths.”

“What’s his issue?” the horse-faced guy who surprisingly _isn’t_ drunk today asks. Mikasa shakes her head, not wanting to explain. I shoot daggers at Levi across the table, my forehead creasing as I frown.

“For starters,” Levi says, looking at me cautiously, “this man, no matter how much he wishes it were true, is _not_ my father. Never was, never will be.” He pushes at a piece of uneaten omelet with his fork, chasing it around the plate with the metal prongs.

“Oh, come on, Levi,” Kenny says, patting him on the back. “Be a good sport! I raised you, did I not?”

“If by ‘raise’ you mean ‘physically and emotionally abused countless times’, then yeah, I guess you did.” Levi stands up only for Kenny to push him right back down. Maybe this is a good time for me to stop pretending like I don’t care about him.

“We’ve gotta get going,” I say quickly. “If we’re gonna get to Montana before two AM, we need to start driving now.”

“Oh, I see,” Kenny says. “You must be Eren Jaeger.”

“ _What?”_ I say, not even noticing that everyone else is filing out of the diner by now. Levi’s the only one left with us, and he looks back to see Hanji wave at him. I just keep staring at the two mean in absolute bewilderment. “How the hell do you know my name?”

“I only heard Mikasa say ‘Eren’ approximately a hundred times,” he says. “But the last name didn’t really click until I saw that persistence in you.”

“I don’t understand, how do you-“

“I knew your father. Grisha? Doctor, yes?” Kenny chuckles darkly and claps his hands together for a short syllable. “I’ve got you interested now, hm? Wanting to know even more? Of course you do. You wouldn’t be able to contain your curiosity if you tried.”

“How the hell do you know my father?”

Kenny gets out of his seat behind Levi and stalks over to me, smirking. “Well, if you _must_ know, which I know you’re just _dying_ to…” He whips out one of his guns and presses it to my forehead with a smug laugh, cocking the gun and placing his finger right on the trigger. “Why, I’m the man who killed Dr. Grisha Jaeger.”

“You’re lying,” I say through clenched teeth. “You’re a lying bitch and you tell me right now who you really know him!”

“Oh, poor Eren,” he says with a fake pout. “Never said it’d be a pretty explanation, now did I?”

“That’s enough,” Levi says angrily. “Kenny, you put that gun down now, or so help me, I’ll-“

“You’ll what? Fight me?” Kenny starts laughing, taking the gun away from my head and swirling it around on his index finger. “I’m the one who taught you every move you know!”

It takes less than a split second before Levi has Kenny on the ground, his foot stepping forcefully on one of his arms and his hand over Kenny’s gun. “ _Try me,”_ he hisses, bending Kenny’s wrist back until he drops the gun in pain. “Get the fuck out. And if I ever run into you again, I will fucking skin you and turning you into a new winter coat.” He makes the mistake of moving his foot off Kenny’s arm, attempting to step on his windpipe but instead falling to the floor.

“Hey! What in hell do you think you’re doing?” the older waitress exclaims. “That it my boss you’re killin’! Get out! I already seen me enough corpses to last a much-regretted lifetime, now go somewhere else! Go on, get!”

I pull Levi up by his arm and yank him out of the diner, absolutely fuming.

“I don’t know what the _hell_ just happened,” I say, “but it is _not_ happening again.”

“Thanks, _Dad._ I know.”

“Shut up. I’m pissed and _you_ almost got killed trying to save me from your not-really-father. Don’t you ever do that again.”

“What, save your ass from being killed?”

“Exactly!” I shake my head and look around, furrowing my eyebrows. “Where the hell did everyone go?”

I twist back around to see Mikasa standing there, her arms crossed and a sickened expression on her face.

“The minute we went back to the semi, one of them got Annie,” she says immediately, shaking her head. “Jean’s hiding in the semi. He doesn’t wanna deal with other peoples’ emotions right now.” She points to the front of the semi, where Bertholdt and Reiner are tearing up. “They’re a mess. I don’t know how it’s gonna go over.”

Levi and I glance all around us, dumbstruck. “Where the fuck is she?” I ask. “I don’t see any bodies.”

Mikasa sighs, tapping her small foot against the ground. “We killed the one that got her. Jean threw the body over somewhere, I don’t know. He looked pissed as fuck. And then… I don’t know what the _fuck_ even… I don’t know.”

“What?”

“She didn’t hurt any of us!” Mikasa says, distraught. “The minute she turned, she looked around at all of us, and she just… ran.”

“What the hell?” Levi says loudly. “That’s impossible. That’s not right! Just… _what?”_

“I really don’t know what the fuck happened. But either way, we’d better go.” Mikasa holds her breath, freezing as she looks at the diner. “I don’t wanna put up with yet _another_ run-in with Kenny.”

We get Bertholdt and Reiner into the back with Jean and Levi drives, Mikasa in the middle of us.

“Did he really kill my father?” I whisper, not really knowing who I’m talking to. Levi looks over at me with heavy eyes and answers me with a sigh. I clench my eyes shut and bite my lip, Mikasa’s hand in mine being the only thing to keep me feeling somewhat okay. One look at her is all it takes for me to burst into tears, hiding my face in her shoulder.

“I know. I know, Eren.” Mikasa rubs her hand over my back, and I suddenly remember this is exactly how it’d been when my mother died.

“I’m sorry, Mikasa, I-I’m so so-sorry…” I hiccup, clutching at her jacket. I need a grip on something; I feel like I can’t breathe.

“Don’t apologize,” she says. “Hey, are you okay? Eren? Eren, look at me. Eren, come on. Breathe. You can do it. Breathe with me. In, out. In, out.”

“I can’t,” I choke out, and somehow, Levi stops driving and gets Mikasa to switch places with him.

“Eren? Can you hear me?” he says, using that calm voice of his again. I nod and grip his hands, my nails digging into his skin as my vision starts to blur. “Eren, it’s okay. Relax, okay?”

“Dy-ing.”

“No, no, okay? You’re not dying. You’re not.” Levi puts his hand over my heart and begins inhaling and exhaling slowly. “Like this, okay? Take your time, it’s okay, but breathe slowly.”

I struggle for a bit, but I finally begin to breathe. “You’re doing just fine,” Levi says, and I wonder how he could ever be so delicate when he’s typically so harsh. Once I get myself to breathe on my own, I bury my face in Levi’s chest, refusing to let go if my life depended on it. Levi just keeps holding me even when my trembling dies down.

“I told you to stop saving my ass,” I whisper to him sarcastically.

“You never let me protest against that request,” he replies in a hushed tone. “I’m gonna keep on doing it until you prove to me you can save your own damn ass.” He smirks and kisses the dark brown hair matted against my forehead, freezing immediately when he realizes what he just did.

“What was that?” I ask, looking at him with wide emerald eyes.

He pauses before answering, “I don’t know.”

\---

In only a couple hours, we enter South Dakota, and Mikasa looks absolutely drained.

“Let me take the wheel,” Jean says. “I haven’t had a turn yet.”

“Yeah, because you were drunk last night and hung over all morning,” Reiner says, sounding tired himself.

“Well, I’m fine now,” Jean says.

“We can switch… at the next… rest area,” Mikasa drabbles, rubbing her eyes. “Which is only two more miles.”

We finally get there, although only just barely with Mikasa’s exhaustion and the fact we are now only running on fumes. Mikasa nearly falls on her face as she gets out. God, she worries me to death sometimes.

After using the restroom and splashing cold water on my overheated face, I walk around the parking lot for a moment to breathe. However, a familiar-looking car with a distressed blonde sitting up front catches my eye and I walk over, tapping the window.

“Krista?” I say. “Is that you? I-it is! Are you okay? Where’s Ymir? How’d you end up here?”

Krista looks up at me and it takes her a minute before she processes who I am. “I drove. She’s gone. No, I’m not okay.” She crosses her arms over her abdomen with a huff and stares at me with a pained expression in her big blue eyes. “And my name isn’t Krista,” she adds through clenched teeth.

“Um…” I tilt my head to the side, confused as all hell. “Okay, if you’re not Krista, who are you?”

“I mean, I’m _me,_ we know each other,” she sighs. “My name is Historia Reiss.” I suddenly realize why she’s always looked so familiar. All these presidential addresses I watched growing up, the televised report of his assassination, she’d always been there, hiding in the background- until the day she wasn’t. And now, I understand why.

“What… happened to Ymir?” I ask quietly.

“An hour after we drove away, some people shot at the car. Secret service, maybe? I don’t know. I think they meant to kill me, but they… they got her instead.”

“I’m sorry.” I rub my arm, really not knowing what else to say. “I’m sorry,” I repeat.

“Don’t be,” she says. “We all end up dead, do we not?”

“Kri- er, Historia, that’s not really-“

“-what you wanna hear? Sorry that my nice little ‘girl next door’ façade couldn’t last any longer. That’s what happens when you lose absolutely everyone you love.”

“Do you want to travel with us?” I ask. “Please do.”

“You can take my car,” she says. “I can’t handle the stress anymore. The secrets, the lying, the hiding. I’m just done. This… is where my part of the story ends.”

“Historia, what are you-“

She steps out of the car and I see a dagger running straight through her torso, and I don’t have time to scream for help before she pulls it out, falling to the ground in a heavy, miserable heap.

“Oh my god!” I shriek, attracting everyone else to run over.

“Is that Krista?” Bertholdt says. I can see he nearly said ‘Annie’ at first, which I don’t really blame him for. Far too many dead blondes for one day.

I gulp and nod, not feeling like explaining anything that Historia just told me.

“ _Was,”_ Levi speaks up. “She _was_ Krista. Now she’s just… dead.”

Everyone’s silent before Levi hoists her body into his arms and begins carrying her across the parking lot, and Mikasa and I are the only ones who follow.

“Rest in peace,” Mikasa whispers silently. Levi sets her body down on the sand a few yards across the street, adjusting the flowers that are still in her hair. He shakes his head and closes her eyes with his fingers, then rests her hands across her chest.

“Sleep,” he says quietly. And she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to feel really discouraged about this fic idk I'll probably finish it but it just sucks lol sorry


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight tw for abuse in this chapter? yeah sorry ;-;

We find our group splitting up yet again, but not due to zombies this time. Apparently, certain people find the idea of using Historia’s more efficient car absolutely preposterous.

“She just _died,”_ Jean defends. “It’s not right. I’m going back to the damn semi.”

“She told me we could use it,” I say.

“And then she practically killed herself right in front of you! Hellooo, Earth to Eren the psychopath? Do you even hear yourself right now?”

Surprisingly, Levi stays silent by Mikasa’s side during the whole dispute.

“There’s no law that says we have to stick together,” I say coldly. “If it’s that big of an issue, then please, go off by yourself.”

“Maybe I will!” Jean sneers. “Anyone coming with me?”

“I will,” Reiner groans. “But one rule: no more drinking. Got it, horseface?”

“If Reiner’s going, I am too,” Bertholdt says. We all nod in quiet agreement, kicking at the dirt under our feet.

“Good luck,” Mikasa says softly. “And don’t be idiots.” She laughs, air blowing out of her mouth and pushing her hair to the side of her face. She opens the back door of the car and slides in, slamming the door behind herself.

“What she said,” I say, shaking my head. “Be safe. Don’t crash that thing. It’s dangerous.”

They give a small yet somewhat grudging wave before walking over to the semi, Jean getting behind the wheel just as he wanted. Levi gets in the passenger seat of Historia’s car, and I slide into the driver’s seat quickly.

“Here we go,” I say, tapping my fingers on the wheel. And so, we drive.

\---

July 4, 2037

As Eren and Mikasa ran down the street that they had loved and lived on for two years, fireworks boomed overhead, masking the gunshots behind them in the dark Louisiana twilight.

“I can’t run anymore! Eren! Wait!” Mikasa panted, her knees going weak. Eren darted back to her and picked her up, his running pace slower now with the extra weight. “They’re gonna catch up to us,” Mikasa moaned helplessly. “Just leave me, Eren! Leave! _Go!”_

“I’m not leaving you behind!” Eren protested. “We can do this, but we have to do it together!”

A loud firecracker popped its way across the sky, exploding into millions of tiny rubies twinkling down over them. The beauty on such a disastrous day was ironic in the worst of ways. This was not a celebration; this was war.

Eren set Mikasa back down on her feet and pulled her arm over his shoulders, trying to run with his hand around her waist. “You can do it!” he yelled above the sounds of the explosions. “Just push a little further, we’re almost there!”

Mikasa fell to the ground with a scream, scooting away from her brother in the tall grass. “Run!” she demanded. “ _Run!”_

A man whose face could not be seen by either of them appeared from a building behind the two, and he dragged Mikasa inside.

“Mikasa!” Eren shouted.

“Quiet, kid! Get inside! Come on, hurry up!” the man ordered, his voice raspy like that of an older man’s. Eren didn’t need to be told twice. He ran inside, going to sit next to his sister on the dirty floor. He looked up at the man who let them in and realized he’d been right; the man looked like he could be sixty or older, with a short-cut gray beard on his face and a cane in his hand to help him balance.

“Grandfather?” a squeaky voice called from the next room, although it was unclear if it was masculine or feminine. “Who is that?”

“Get in here, Armin,” he said. “And bring some bread from the kitchen. These two look like they haven’t eaten in weeks.”

A tiny boy with blond hair soon emerged from the kitchen, holding a long load of bread in his arms.

“Hi,” he said, trotting over to the duo. “I’m Armin Arlert.”

“Eren Jaeger,” replied the brunet, his throat scratching on every breathy syllable. “And this is my sister, Mikasa Ackerman.”

Mikasa raised her hand to wave, although she was so worn out, she could barely move her fingers.

“I’ll get some water,” Armin said, handing the bread to Mikasa as he got up again. Mikasa immediately began chomping at the bread, savoring each taste in her mouth for minutes at a time before moving on to the next bite. She then broke the remainder in half, handing the longer piece to Eren.

“No,” Eren refused, shaking his head. “You eat it. I don’t want any.”

“It’s good,” she convinced. “We haven’t eaten in two days, Eren. Please eat. You need to.”

Armin came out again with two glasses of water, handing one to each kid with a smile. Eren stared down at the bread in his hands, absorbing its warmth.

“I can’t,” he said, shoving it back into Mikasa’s hands. Armin and his grandfather watched quietly, observing Eren’s odd sudden change in mood.

“Eat!” Mikasa insisted, holding the bread close to his face. “If you don’t eat, you’ll _die,_ and then who will I have to take care of me?”

Eren gasped, staring at her in shock. “I… okay, _fine.”_ He slowly took the bread, nibbling at it carefully. “This… _is_ good.”

“I made it myself,” Armin said proudly.

Eren finished off his bread and began sipping his water, grateful to feel safe in this moment. “Who were you running from?” Armin’s grandfather finally asked him, adjusting the hat on his head.

“I don’t know,” Eren said, taking another gulp of water, “but whoever it was, they must _really_ want me and Mikasa for some reason.”

Mikasa stared silently down at her hands and pulled her knees to her chest, closing her eyes tightly as she tried to block out her thoughts. “I think it’s something to do with Dad- er, _your_ dad, anyways.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know why, I just… I heard that one guy say his name, that must be it, right?”

Eren studied his sister and shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said honestly, exhaling tiredly. “I don’t know.”

\---

Today- June 3, 2040

Thank god for Historia’s car being solar-powered. As we get further north, I’m not exactly sure where I’m going, but all I know is South Dakota rarely seems to have an weather where the sun _doesn’t_ shine. I suppose it was like that in some of the other states as well, but I never appreciated it until I realized it meant a never-ending fuel source.

I look in the rearview mirror to see Mikasa fast asleep in the backseat, and this is the first time in forever that I’ve seen her sleep peacefully.

“Hey, I have a question for you,” I say to Levi, glancing over at him occasionally. “Do you know if Mikasa’s related to you or Kenny in any way, or is it really just a weird coincidence?”

Levi presses his lips in a thin line, obviously holding back from saying something he wants to say. “That’s a question you’ll have to ask her yourself once she wakes up,” he grumbles, adjusting himself in his seat.

“You know something, don’t you?” I say, my forehead creasing.

“Listen,” Levi says after an uncomfortably silent minute. “All I’m saying is, he’s screwed up a lot of people. Including me. So, if you’ve ever wondered about her reason for hating cigarettes, perhaps the answer lies in him. Bad memories make strange connections.”

“But _you_ actually _like_ cigarettes, so that’s a flawed theory,” I say.

“To each is their own. Her way of coping is blocking out memories. My way is facing them head-on, killing myself gradually with what others tried to kill me with before.”

“What did he _do_ to you?” I whisper, horrified.

“Bruises have faded away over time. Scars faded, for the most part, anyways. But what I do still have are memories, tormenting memories. And… well, I still have these.” He rolls up his sleeve and reveals circular impressions on his arm, remnants of what I can only guess to be cigarette burns.

“Oh my god,” I whisper, staring at them until he pulls his sleeve back down. I look back at Mikasa with worry, remembering all the times she used to mention her nightmares of “the scary man” who said he was her _family_ after she disappeared for an entire week when we were only thirteen.

I watch Mikasa for just a little too long, because by the time that Levi yells “Watch out!”, I’ve already hit someone–

–or, more accurately, some _thing._

“What the hell was that?” I say. Levi stares at me in all seriousness and demands, “ _Drive.”_

“But-“

“I said _drive!”_

I put my foot on the gas an just keep driving, looking back in the side mirror just in time to see a figure stand up and start running after us.

“Go faster!” Levi yells.

“I can’t!”

“Floor it!”

“I _am_ fucking flooring it!” The figure in my mirror gets closer and closer until I realize we’re headed straight for a cliff.

Levi leans out of the window and tries shooting at it, only to find that an entire group is now running after us and we have no other escape.

“Wake up Mikasa,” I tell him. “Now!”

He reaches back and shakes her awake, demanding she put her seatbelt on.

“What? What’s going on?”

“Just do it!” I yell, clenching my teeth. I hear the click of her seatbelt buckling just as we approach the edge of the cliff, the large army of the undead getting too close to us.

“Brace yourselves,” I say just before flying off.

“ _Eren!”_ Mikasa shrieks. I reach back and hold her hand tightly, feeling as if we’re falling in slow motion. All of the zombies that were chasing us suddenly stop at the edge of the cliff, then begin running away from it.

Levi’s face is the last thing I see before we crash onto the sandy, dry ground below.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for descriptively written physical abuse scene.

When I wake up from the impact, my stomach drops. Mikasa’s knocked out cold, bleeding profusely from her forehead and god knows where else, and Levi is nowhere to be found. Carefully, I unbuckle myself and flip so I’m now standing on what _should_ be the roof of the car, and I move over to hold Mikasa in my arms before unbuckling her and crawling out of the destroyed car.

“Levi?” I yell, my voice echoing around the valley. “Levi!”

“He’s gone,” Mikasa murmurs, squirming in my arms as she stirs in her sleep. “It’s just us again.”

I want to throw up, but I fight it. I have Mikasa with me, and that’s all that really matters right now. We never really needed that asshole anyways if all he was going to do in the first place was abandon us.

“Fuck!” I suddenly say. “Fuck, fuck! We left our backpacks in the semi, we have no fucking food! Or water! Or guns, Levi took his! Or fucking anything!”

“Not completely true,” she croaks. She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out some crumbly crackers, her hand shaking as she gives it to me. “There you go.” She tries to smile, but I can tell it hurts.

“Where are you bleeding?” I ask, lying her down on the ground.

“I- um… my forehead, and… I think that’s it.” She touches her waist and winces, then pulls up her shirt to see a giant gash in her side. “No, no, I- right here…”

I take her red bandana off her neck and press it to her wound, trying not to watch her face as she grimaces in excruciating pain. “How did you… know Kenny?” I ask, both out of incessant curiosity and needing to get her mind off of the pain. She sighs and waves it off, raising her fingers to wipe away a few drips of blood from her head.

“You already know the answer,” she whispers before bursting into a violent coughing fit. “Oh, god, it hurts. It hurts s-so bad…”

My eyes well up with tears at the horrid sight of my sister suffering through such misery. “I know. I know, Mik. You gotta hang in there, okay? You can do it.” I kiss her forehead, holding her closer to me delicately.

“You can go on without me,” she says softly. “It’s okay. Really. Go on.”

“No,” I say. “You said the same thing to me when we were twelve. And we both ended up okay. Remember?”

“I know, Eren. But look around. There’s no Armin around to give us bread. No people to pull us aside to save us. It’s just us now, Eren. And soon, it will be just you.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing.” I bite my lip and rock her back and forth slowly, humming quietly. “Come on, Mikasa,” I say, unwrapping the crackers. “Please eat for me. You can get nice and strong and we can move on together. Please, please eat this.”

She looks at me, discouraged, and coughs again, blood sputtering and mixing with saliva in her mouth, dripping out from between her lips.

“Look at me, Mikasa. Look, look, look. Remember that song Mom used to sing to us? Remember?” I brush my thumb over her cheek, supporting her head in my arms. She keeps her eyes fixed on me, and I begin to sing. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray… You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you… Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Her blinking gets slower and she begins to sing a few words with me as I repeat the verse, and she closes her eyes on the last line, her ebony eyelashes fluttering over her snowy white skin.

“Please don’t take… my sunsh-shine…” she trails off and inhales sharply before letting it all out at once, her chest deflating like a balloon.

“Mikasa?” I whisper. The tears start to spill over my cheeks nad I rock her again, not wanting any of this to be real. “ _Mikasa!”_ I scream, some teardrops falling onto her pale skin. I begin to shake and tremble violently, trying but soon failing to hold back a loud, rippling shriek of _“No!”_ My panicked plead echoes off the walls of the valley repeatedly, mocking me with each weak “no” I hear.

What was it that Historia had said? Something about “that’s what happens when you lose everyone you love?” I can’t breathe again. However, this time around, I’m not afraid that I might be dying. Because I’m the reason my sister is dead. _I killed Mikasa._

And now, I’m wishing this would kill me, too.

\---

October 5, 2025

_Run, run, run faster, stupid boy, don’t let them catch you. Run, two three, run, two three, run–_

Fourteen-year-old Levi, who had just as much of a last name as fish had lungs, _stopped running,_ completely contradicting his orders to himself. He instead darted behind the wall of some old nightclub and pressed himself against the wall, holding his breath as he listened to hear the men that had been following him.

“…he moved from Berlin to Tokyo just last month, who knows where the hell he’ll end up? His wife just had a baby in March, too, we can’t trust that.”

“Goddammit, that can only mean one thing.”

“I know. Once we catch Levi, we need to track down that son of a bitch.”

“And how will we manage to do that?”

“He has a family. I have weapons.”

Levi began sliding against the wall, making his way down the alleyway, being careful not to make a peep. However, just as he got halfway to the end of the alley, he unintentionally kicked a glass bottle, making it clink as it rolled across the pavement and hit the other wall with a clash.

“There he is!” one man said. “Get the little bitch!”

Levi didn’t have any time to move before they grabbed hold of him, one of them putting their hand over his mouth so he couldn’t scream for help.

“See? It’s not that hard.”

“Gig duh fuff off uve me, Kunn.”

“Sorry, what was that?” The man took his hand off Levi’s mouth, instead pulling out a gun and pressing it to his temple.

“I said, ‘get the fuck off of me, Kenny.’”

Kenny snickered, shaking his head and making a quiet ‘tsk’ sound. “Now, now, is that any way for a young man to speak? No, I think not.” He kicked Levi in the back of his knees, nearly making him fall to the ground if it weren’t for the men dragging him by his arms.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset,” the other man said, and now that Levi could actually see his face, he seemed much younger than Kenny, maybe by fifteen or even twenty years. “We’re just gonna ask you a couple questions.”

“The proper phrase,” Levi seethed, “is ‘brutally interrogate.’”

“Oh, you make it sound as if we _want_ to hurt you,” Kenny smirked.

“Because you _do.”_

“Hmm. Maybe.”

They cut down a few more dark alleys before reaching their destination, a small brick building with god-awful fluorescent lighting on the inside. The younger man stood outside to keep guard, but Kenny led Levi to a chair in front of a table, right across from where Kenny sat down.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” Kenny said. “With the easy way, you give me the information I ask for and I’ll leave you alone for the most part. With the hard way, however, if you resist giving me the right answer, move from that chair, or piss me off generally in any other way, I can and will kill you.” He motioned over to a long table stacked full of guns, knives, whips, and other inhumane weaponry. “I’d hope you choose wisely.” Levi watches as Kenny sorted through manila file folders in front of him, crossing his arms and blowing his jet-black hair out of his eyes as he observed his captor. “Okay, first question. Name?”

“Levi.”

“ _Full_ name.”

“I don’t have a last name.”

“Of course you do, now give it to me. I don’t want to have to make this harder than it needs to be.”

“I’m telling you, I know I _should_ have one, but I do _not_ know it. You should, since you’re the guy who killed both my parents.”

Kenny stared at the boy silently for a bit before he wrote down information in his notebook. “Fine,” he said. “If you wanna play it that way, whatever. I’ll put it down as Ackerman.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, Levi. That’s the way the world works. If you’re gonna be like this, it only means I own you now.”

Levi gulped, but continued to stay quiet. _Levi Ackerman… That_ does _have a nice ring to it_ , he thought to himself. _What the hell am I saying? Is he_ already _brainwashing me?_

“All right, now, date of birth.”

“December twenty-fifth, 2010.”

“December twenty-fifth? Seriously?” Kenny looked at Levi as if he’d just said the sky was green. “What, are you Jesus fuckin’ Christ?”

“Sadly, no,” Levi replied. “If I were, I could tell you to go to hell and have my wish fulfilled.”

Kenny eyed Levi down and stood up, slamming his hands on the table. “All right, I’ve had enough of your damn mouth.” Levi watched fearfully as Kenny selected a long whip from the other table, stalking back over to the short boy like a lion getting ready to attack its prey.

“Don’t worry, it only hurts… well, a lot,” he said, yanking Levi up by his shirt collar. “Shirt off. _Now.”_

“No!”

“Don’t make me fucking kill you, little boy,” Kenny threatened. Levi quickly pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the ground harshly. He gripped the table until his fingers last feeling and unwillingly yelped aloud when the whip left its first of many lashes on his back. Once Kenny finished his punishment, he set the whip back on the table and overlooked each of the thirteen slash marks on Levi.

“Maybe now you’ll learn to shut your mouth,” he hissed, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it. Levi sat back down slowly, only to feel an unbearable pain in his topmost scar. “Did I tell you to sit down?” Kenny ordered, pressing the cigarette into Levi’s blood.

“N-no, sir,” Levi answered, forcefully biting back tears.

“Good. I’m glad you learned your lesson, then.” Kenny sat back down, motioning for Levi to stay standing. “Let me make myself clear: I _own_ you. When I say ‘jump’, you say ‘how high’. You’re a dog and you should expect to be treated as such. You are to complete every order I give you without a sliver of hesitation. Do I make myself clear?”

Levi paused, trying to ignore the pain that rocketed through his entire body. “Crystal, sir.”

“Good. Now, drop to the floor and give me fifty.”

“Yes, sir.”

\---

Today- June 3, 2040

I’m not sure how long I blacked out for, but when I finally regain my breath, Levi’s mouth is on mine and we’re in the back of some sort of car. I gap and Levi pulls away, giving me a shocked look.

“You’re all right!” he exclaims quietly. “I came back to the crash site and you were passed out. It looked like you’d been crying.”

I sit up quietly, tumbling into Levi’s arms when the car goes over a large bump. “Where’s Mikasa?” I ask, completely not registering what he just said. “Where are we?”

“Eren, this is my old friend Erwin”–he motions to the man in the passenger seat–“and you remember Hanji from the diner, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. Where’s Mi-“ I cut myself off when I look down and see blood on my fingers. This is not my blood. It’s my sister’s.

“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. “No, no, no, no!” I burst into tears all over again and it takes everything inside of me to keep from hyperventilating yet again.

“Eren, look at me,” Levi says, gently pulling my face by my chin to look at him. “Your sister was wonderful, okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t have known her longer, really, I am. I know how miraculously close you were with her. She lived a spectacular life, and Eren, I promise you that she will continue to be spectacular even in death. I promise you, okay?” He looks at the tears streaming down my face and hugs me tightly, and all I can think about now is how wonderful it feels to be in his arms. Hanji and Erwin are quiet, and for once in my life, I truly am grateful for silence.

Levi doesn’t mind that I’m soaking his shirt with salty tears. He doesn’t mind when I pull myself in closer to him, and doesn’t even mind when I tell him I don’t want him to leave me. He merely wipes my tears away with his finger, holds me close as I need him to, and tells me he’s going to stay with me.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say I love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay yeah I cried a little writing this oops  
> just don't read the death scene while listening to "Bedshaped" by Keane okay omfg


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so idk why you guys would be reading this far if you hate ereri, but just a warning, there's HUGE ereri chemistry in this chapter. so if that bothers you, i'd advise not reading any further. please no hate.

We reach a decent place in Minnesota by sundown and Hanji pulls the car into the parking lot of a hotel. Either they haven’t been hit with the infection yet, or zombies have learned how to give pretty damn good hotel service.

We’re given keys to our rooms- Hanji and Erwin in 243, Levi and me across the hall in 244- and escorted upstairs, although we really don’t have any luggage aside from a small duffel bag that Erwin carries.

Our room is magnificent- two large plush queen-sized beds with down feather comforters and cream-colored pillows to match, a huge flat screen on the wall, and a bathtub in the attached bathroom that could be a swimming pool for twenty people at least.

“Jesus Christ,” I exclaim in awe. “I’ve never been in a place so nice before.”

“Yeah, Hanji’s pretty great at finding hotels,” he says, as if it’s not a big deal to him. “Are you hungry? I can call for room service.” I open my mouth to say something in protest, but he cuts me off before I can utter a sound. “It was a rhetorical question. I’ll call room service, and you can go have a bath. Seriously, you need one.” He laughs softly and I nod, walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind me.

The water is soothing and warm, helping me relax my tense muscles. I scrub off my body until I feel like I’m going to rip my skin off and then I just sit there, possibly for an hour before Levi knocks on the door.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I reply. “Sorry.”

“You’re good,” he says. “Just try to hurry up. Don’t want your food to get cold.”

I stand up and drain the water from the tub, watching as it swirls around and around. I grab one of the soft towels off the rack and dry off, wrapping it around my waist when I suddenly realize I have no clothes to change into. I hesitate for a moment before saying _screw it_ and walking back into the air-conditioned bedroom, my chest completely exposed to this man. He doesn’t even question it.

“Your food’s right here,” he says, pointing to a plate on the other bed. “I take long showers, too, so I’ll be a while. Knock if you need me.” He goes into the bathroom and when I hear the click of the little lock, I eat quickly, brush the bed free of bread crumbs, and drop the towel, instead going to wrap a warm cotton blanket around my shoulders. It’s long enough so that it goes down to nearly my feet, so I’m not exactly too worried about modesty.

I walk out to the balcony, looking over the small suburbia as I rest my head on the railing. I can’t help but think about how much Mikasa would love to be here, to see a part of the world that’s still somewhat peaceful and okay.

I miss my sister.

\---

I must have fallen asleep on the railing, because soon enough, I feel Levi’s arms around me and he says in my ear, “Please don’t fall off the balcony.”

I blink a few times before I realize what just happened and I wiggle out of his arms, flipping my hair to the side as I walk back in. “I’m just really drained, I guess. Emotionally and physically, y’know?”

Levi nods, bringing me to sit on the bag. “If you need to let it out some more, please do. It’s not good to bottle up things like that. Trust me, I’d know.”

“I can’t even cry anymore,” I admit hopelessly. “I just… my heart feels so hollow now, it’s unreal. I keep telling myself that this is just a bad dream and I’ll wake up soon, but… no. It isn’t. And the hardest thing is accepting that.”

“Nobody’s forcing you to accept it right now,” he says. “Hell, it’s been three years and I still haven’t accepted the loss of some of my friends. But that’s what life is all about, learning to move on from the bad and letting more good in.”

I nod and hug him, closing my eyes. “At least we’re safe for right now,” I whisper. “Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even five minutes from now. But right now, in this very moment, we’re okay. And I think that’s what Mikasa would want me to know, too.”

Levi smiles softly and then sighs, turning away and hiding his face in his hands.

“What?” I ask. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he groans. “I just feel like a creepy pervert right now.”

“Why?” I suddenly realize what he just said and I want to slap myself. “Oh. Right. I get it.”

“It’s nothing you did,” he says. “I just… God, you’re fifteen years younger than me. Hell, when I was getting my ass beat every damn day by Kenny, you were learning how to walk and say ‘mama’. I mean, honestly, I feel like such a creep right now. I literally almost just asked you- ugh, never mind. Just forget I said any of this.”

“What? What were you gonna ask me?”

Levi sighs and bites on his tongue before blurting out, “I was going to ask if I could kiss you, okay?”

“Oh.” I don’t know what to say to that. Especially since I feel _the same way._ “Oh.”

“I’m sorry. I know. I’m creepy and-“

I cut him off mid-speech, pressing my lips to his as he still thinks he’s talking. I hold onto the kiss for a while before pulling away.

“I believe the answer to your ‘creepy’ question is yes, you can,” I say, my face turning fifty shades of red. I purse my lips and start to move away until he pulls me back and our lips connect again, his hands moving through my hair. His tongue finds mine and I do my best not to make a sound, although I end up failing miserably and I let out a sort of whine. I suddenly remember the only thing I’m wearing is a blanket and I have to pull away, shutting my lips tightly as I pull the cloth tighter around me.

“I’m sorry,” I say, embarrassed. “I’m… hormones, and… and yeah.”

“It’s fine, I understand.” Levi reaches for my hand and rubs it softly, resting his head on my shoulder. “At least I know I’m not _completely_ mental.”

I giggle a bit before putting my hand on his shoulder, moving so I can look at his back. It’s completely covered in long scars, cigarette burns, and singeing red marks that look like they’ll never fade.

“Oh my god,” I whisper. “Is this… from Kenny?”

Levi sighs, nodding. “I said _most_ scars faded… But when you keep renewing scars, making them deeper and deeper each time in the same place, they tend to stick around. Even ten years after you escape the abuse.”

“Does it hurt to touch them?” I ask. He shakes his head and I begin tracing my fingers over each scar, and once I’m finished, I begin kissing lightly down his back, leaving feathery kisses on each terrible mark.

“You don’t have to do that,” Levi says quietly, but something about his tone tells me he doesn’t exactly want me to stop. I begin rubbing his neck, kneading my thumbs into the stiff muscles, then I put my hands to the side and start to kiss his neck. He makes a small _mm_ sound and I wrap my arms around his torso, my fingers tracing around his stomach.

“I like you,” I mumble against his skin, my breath burning hot on his icy cold neck, beginning to unthaw him. “Sorta really a lot.”

“I know.” Levi chuckles, holding my hands in his and kissing them. “I like you sorta really a lot, too.”

“And you know, maybe some people would see it as weird, but I don’t give two shits,” I drabble on. “You know why? Because with everyone either dead or _un_ dead, I don’t really think society’s standards on age differences really matter when there’s no legal standing there anymore.”

Levi starts laughing more than I’ve ever seen him laugh, and boy, is it contagious. Soon, we’re both giggling, although it’s muffled by our new round of kisses, slower paced this time. I fall back onto the pillow and Levi climbs over me, studying me carefully.

“Let me know if we’re taking this too fast,” he says warily.

“Believe me, I really don’t mind it any way this goes tonight,” I say.

“Have you ever even… you know, _been_ with a guy before?”

I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Yes. You’d be pitifully surprised at how much, too.”

“Honestly?”

I bite my lip, looking up at him. “Honestly. Only this time, it’s different.”

“How so?”

“Because I actually, genuinely like you.”

Levi nods and kisses me again, smiling through it the whole time.

God, I love his smile.

\---

When I wake up in the morning, I’m praying last night wasn’t just a dream. When I look to my right, I’m assured that it wasn’t. I smile to myself and roll over, wrapping my arms around Levi as I snuggle into his chest. He opens his eyes groggily and looks at me for a second before kissing my forehead.

“Good morning,” he says. “Did you sleep well?”

I nod and close my eyes again, humming happily. “Did you?”

“I did,” he replies. “First time I’ve slept that good in years.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

I yawn and pull the blanket tighter around me, my foot rubbing against his leg. “Are we leaving today?” I ask.

“Nah, I don’t think so. We can stay here maybe another night, but I’ll have to ask Hanji just to be safe.”

“Okay,” I say. “Because I wanna stay here with you for at least a little while.”

Levi kisses the tip of my nose, rubbing his hand over my back. “Sounds like a plan,” he beams, making me quietly giggle like a little kid.

“You’re really cold,” I comment idly when I reach for his hands.

“And you’re really warm. We balance each other out.” He rubs his thumb over my cheek softly, looking me in the eyes sincerely. I never noticed just how gray his eyes really are, but they’re a twinkling kind of gray, not dull.

“I wish we could lay here forever,” I sigh. “The world sucks.”

“So do you.”

“Oh my _god,_ shut up.” I swat at Levi’s arm, my face going completely red.

“But in the good way,” he adds.

“Oh my god. I _know,_ shut _up.”_ I hide my face, muffling any laughter that wants to come out of my mouth. “You’re terrible.”

“I know I am,” Levi says with pride. “But hey, you gotta love me.”

My rosy cheeks blush even more and I mumble, “Yeah, I do.”

“What? I can’t hear you when you mumble.”

“Nothing.”

Levi sits up, and I groan childishly in defeat at the lack of comfort now. “Say it in another language, then,” he says.

"What? Why?"

“If you don’t want me to hear it in English, say it in a foreign language.” He tilts his had to the side curiously. “It’s like a game.”

“Um… okay.” I think about all the fragments of languages that I know before saying, “Je t’aime.” It doesn’t occur to me that _I know he’s French_ until his entire face lights up.

“You made that too easy.”

“Not on purpose!”

“Hm.” He rests his head on his hand, thinking about something while he looks at me. “Ich liebe dich.”

 _He remembers I’m partially German. Oh my god._ I stretch my arms out in front of me, sitting up but only reluctantly. “Let’s wait before we say it in English,” I say.

“Agreed.”

I grab the smaller blanket from last night off the floor and wrap it around myself, then I walk into the bathroom to get my dirty clothes off the floor. I feel around in my jacket pocket for an ink pen, and when I can’t find one, I look inside the other pocket, only to scream and drop my jacket to the floor. I jump onto the sink counter like a scared housewife from some 1950’s sitcom and clutch my blanket around me.

“Are you all right?” Levi asks frantically, running into the bathroom. When he sees the tarantula crawling out of my pocket, he wrinkles his nose and groans. “It’s just a spider,” he says.

“I _hate_ spiders,” I say, clenching my teeth. “They scare the shit out of me.”

“Seriously? You’ve killed real life zombies, you’ve shot _people,_ you crashed a dead girl’s car off the side of a cliff, and you’re scared of _spiders?”_

“Exactly,” I respond.

“Tch. Pathetic.” Levi scoops the furry arachnid into his hands and carries it out of the bathroom, and I can only infer that he’s setting it outside. “There,” Levi sighs when he gets back to me, “just don’t go onto the balcony. Sheesh.” I hop down from the counter and he says, “I know Erwin and Hanji had a duffel bag of clothes with them, I can go see if any of Erwin’s stuff might fit you.” He steals a towel, wraps it around his waist, and drowns his hair in the sink, making it appear as if he just showered. He then disappears into the hallway and I walk back into the main bedroom, still somewhat worrying if my jacket is now infested with an entire tarantula family reunion.

I turn on the TV and it’s automatically on CNN, and of course, everyone’s talking about the spread of the infection. “ _ZOMBIE VIRUS TAKES OVER- IS IT THE END?”_ the headline on the screen reads. A woman with her dark hair pinned in a tight bun is pointing to a green screen map of North America, with states that have been taken over by the virus marked in red.

“As you can see here, all of the New England territory is infected, with other disasters taking control as well. The infection is spreading south from New York and north from North Carolina, both directions centering in on Maryland, getting closer and closer to Washington, D.C. It seems now the only states that have not been infected yet, or at least not heavily, include Minnesota, Wisconsin, northwestern Michigan, southeastern South Dakota, and northern Iowa. Folks, if you are in any are not mentioned, it is advised–” She stops talking, pressing her fingers to her earpiece as she listens to someone say something to her. The words _“URGENT REPORT”_ begin to flash in red in the top left-hand corner, and the woman says, “Folks, I just received word that late President Reiss’s daughter, Historia Reiss, has been found dead in Wyoming. We’ll have more on that at eight. This has been Mina Carolina, CNN News.”

The TV then goes to a commercial advertising Hostess cakes, happy families shown biting into the treats with overly fake smiles on their makeup-plastered faces. I cringe and reach to change the channel, only to see the TV fizzle out along with all other forms of electricity in the room.

“Levi?” I say anxiously, hugging the blanket tighter around myself. I move towards the door, gnawing on my lower lip. I’m not ready to fight anything or run anywhere in the nude.

A fully-dressed Levi thankfully bursts through the door momentarily, throwing a t-shirt and a pair of khakis at me. “Get dressed quickly,” he orders. “We have to go.”

I do as I’m told and we meet the other two in the hallway. Levi nonchalantly takes my hand as we run downstairs, and for that small comfort, I’m grateful.

“What’s happening?” I say, feeling a wave of panic come over me.

“We don’t know,” Hanji replies. “But it can’t be good.”

We get into the car and Hanji tries the ignition, but the car won’t start.

“Hurry!” Erwin demands.

“I am trying to!” she yells.

“Let me do it!” Levi seethes, shoving his way over the two and putting his hand on the keys. It takes a few tries, but he finally gets it started, and he relaxes back into his seat, Hanji beginning to drive.

“What is seriously happening?” I say, reaching out to Levi.

“Not now, Eren!” he bellows, shaking his hand away from me before looking at me in sudden fear. I retreat back, quite scared at his loud voice to be honest, and Hanji and Erwin exchange nervous glances. “I’m sorry,” Levi mumbles, looking at me in remorse. “I-I’m sorry–“

“Save it,” I say coldly, turning to stare out the window. “You really are your father’s son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case you guys didn't know, "je t'aime" means "i love you" in french, as does "ich liebe dich" in german.  
> also, please comment or something!! i like getting feedback from you guys, it's nice. anyways. yeah.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this chapter makes peace04 a bit happier. maybe.

December 25, 2032

“All right, rise and shine, princess,” Kenny called, banging his gun against Levi’s metal bed frame. “Let’s go, let’s go, up, up, up.”

Levi sat straight up in bed, knowing by now what would happen to him if he needed to be told more than once.

“Jesus, kid, your hair looks like you’ve been electrocuted.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Levi groaned, immediately jumping to his feet to begin his morning routine.

“Actually, Levi,” Kenny said, “no need to worry about your workout today.”

“What?” Levi questioned, stretching his arms above his head with his fingers locked together. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s a special goddamn day, son,” Kenny said, placing a cigarette between his teeth. “It’s your twenty-second birthday. And Jesus’, too, but I don’t think he and I are on very good terms.”

“Right. Okay.” Levi shot Kenny a sideways glance, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve been with you for seven years now and never once have you decided to celebrate my birthday, or any holiday. What’s making you all ‘Scrooge-turned-saintly’ now?”

“Christmas spirit,” Kenny said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he inhaled from his cigarette. “Actually, I have somewhere to be today, so I won’t be beating you senseless. Our beloved guard will be watching you while I’m gone, as well as a new one I hired. Be a doll and don’t hurt her, ‘kay?”

“Wasn’t planning on it?”

“You know what I mean.” Kenny chuckled darkly and motioned for Levi to turn around so he could examine the fresh scars on his back from the night before. “Oh, you have a little something here. Let me get that for you.” Kenny pressed the lit end of his cigarette into one of the scars unexpectedly, making Levi scream out in pain.

“What the fuck was that for?!” he yelped.

“To remember me by in my absence today,” Kenny teased with a sadistic sneer. “Guards, take good care of the boy, will you?” He walked out, letting the two guards saunter into Levi’s room. “I’ll be back tomorrow by noon!” Kenny yelled before slamming the door behind himself.

“Erwin Smith,” Levi said, “long time no see. Kenny’s been keeping you locked up, too?”

“Ha-ha,” the tall man said, frowning. “He’s been sending me out on other matters in the time since you last saw me.”

“Ah.” Levi gestured to the new guard, pursing his lips. “And you? What’s your name?”

“Hanji Zoe,” she replied. She adjusted her glasses and turned to Erwin, then said to him, “Mike’s got a car out back. We’re ready to go.”

“Excuse me?” Levi questioned, knowing very well he wouldn’t get hurt by either of them without Kenny there. “Who the hell’s Mike, and where are we going?”

“Levi Ackerman,” the girl said with a hint of a smile, “we’re helping you escape.”

\---

August 8, 2038

Six years down the line of becoming a runaway, Levi was smacked in the face with a new kind of fight- a strange “zombie virus” Levi has first heard of thirteen years prior had spread to America, starting in Florida and ever so slowly working its way around. He had only been settled down peacefully with his friends for five years, but it seemed they were moving again, far too soon for Levi’s comfort.

“Where are we going?” he asked, leaning back against the side of their car.

“Oklahoma,” Mike responded, packing luggage into the trunk. “We’ll see where it goes from there.”

“I have a bad feeling about this,” he huffed, crossing his arms anxiously.

“Damn, I didn’t know you had feelings _at all.”_

They drove for eleven hours nonstop from their quiet suburban town just outside of Indianapolis until they reached Oklahoma City, the entire place looking absolutely foreign to Levi.

“Sooo,” Hanji chimed excitedly, “what do you think?”

“ _Très mal,”_ Levi frowned.

“Oh, c’mon, French boy, it’s great!”

“Maybe to a so-called ‘southern belle’ like you, but I come from a place much more sophisticated than horses and hay bales.”

“You come from Chicago.”

“I was born in Paris.”

“You spent most of your life in Chicago, though,” Hanji pointed out.

“She’s right,” Erwin shrugged.

“Ugh. Well, wither way, this place is more dried-out than Erwin’s dick.”

“Oh my god!” Erwin yelled. Hanji burst into a cackling fit, slapping Mike on the arm as he drove. “Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Mike, did you hear him? Bahahaha!”

Levi rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t meant to be funny.”

“Well, it was, and- hey, look!” Hanji pointed through the windshield at a red barn that was half falling apart. “We can stay there ‘til we figure something out!”

“ _Fuck_ no,” Levi protested. “I am not going to stay in a place where animals are supposed to sleep!”

“You _were_ born on December twenty-fifth,” Hanji giggled.

“Will you people _stop_ comparing me to Jesus?! I don’t even believe in God!”

“If any of us did, we’d all be going to hell,” Erwin sighed. For some reason unknown to Levi, that shut Hanji up.

Defying his protesting remarks, they pulled next to the barn, and all three of them nearly had to drag Levi out of the car just to get him to follow along.

“Disgusting,” he muttered as they walked inside the barn. As they opened the door, ribbons of sunlight streamed into the building, illuminating the hay-covered floor that seemed to have sat in darkness for centuries.

“We can clean it to your liking, your majesty,” Hanji teased Levi, doing a little curtsy. As she walked further into the barn, she kicked something with a loud “oops!”, waking whatever it was she’d run into.

“Huh? Is it daylight?” a girl’s voice called from underneath a blanket of hay. “Hey, who are you.”

“Name’s Hanji. Who are _you?”_

The girl stood up, pulling hay from her strawberry blond hair. “I’m Petra Ral,” she said, then motioned to a group of people around her. “And these all are my friends.”

\---

Today- June 4, 2040

The entire ride, I refuse to look at Levi. Not necessarily out of fear; I’m just too damn prideful to give him the satisfaction of seeing me not mad.

When Hanji stops for gas and Erwin goes inside the mini-mart to grab some food, Levi suddenly grabs me by my face and forces me to look at him.

“ _Listen,”_ he says. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m sorry. But please, _please,_ don’t you _ever_ fucking compare me to that godforsaken man again, understood? Because If that happens again, I will fucking give you a _real_ reason to say that. I can be your best friend, hell, your _lover,_ but I can be the person who makes you wish you were never born, too.”

“A little late for that, huh?” I hiss. “I _already_ wish I’d never been born, you can’t make that any worse.”

“Don’t.” Levi lets go of me, shaking his head. “Don’t you _dare_ play the little depressed boy card on me. I can deal with murderers, I can deal with thieves, liars, hell, even _goddamn zombies,_ but I can never and will never be able to deal with people who pretend to be something they’re not just to make me feel more guilty.”

“You think I’m _pretending_ to have a death wish?” I say, fuming in outrage. “Here’s a message for you: go to _hell.”_ I get out of my seat and jump out of the car, storming across the gas station lot.

“Where the hell are you going?” Levi yells, following after me. Hanji must be in the mini-mart with Erwin; she’s not there to put her two cents in.

“Away from you,” I snarl right back. However, apparently I’m not fast enough for him, and he soon catches up to me, grabbing my wrist tightly.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Eren. I’m sorry for being such a hostile asshole and I’m sorry for yelling and I’m so fucking sorry for making it seem like I invalidate your feelings! I’m fucked up too, okay? But all I can do is say I’m sorry. And I just… I’m… I’m _sorry,_ okay?”

My hand pushes against his chest in effort to get him off of me, but instead, something takes over me and I pull him closer to me, kissing him forcefully. His free hand holds my lower back and his grip on my wrist fluctuates, loosening at first but then getting even tighter than it had been.

“Fuck you,” I say when he pulls away. “Fuck you and your goddamn cool stature and your fucking temper. Just _fuck you._ ” And like that, I press our lips back together, the nails on my left hand digging into his arm. He blindly pulls me all the way back to the car and we get in before Erwin and Hanji do, nearly making the backseat collapse underneath our weight as our mouths keep moving, our hips keeping rolling, and our hands keep tearing at each other.

“Fuck,” I mutter suddenly when I hear Hanji and Erwin begin walking back to the car. I flip around to get off his lap and buckle up in the middle seat, so I can still lean against him. I sigh painfully at the new pressure in my jeans, biting my lip to keep from whining.

“We bring snacks!” Hanji exclaims, tossing some potato chips and cosmic brownies back to us, along with bottled waters.

“Great,” Levi says monotonously, biting at his nails. “Thanks.”

As Hanji starts to drive again, I shiver and softly ask, “Do we have any blankets? I’m a little chilly.”

“Yeah,” Erwin replies. “In the back, right behind your seat.” He then tells Hanji he’s going to nap and he closes his eyes, reclining his seat only about an inch. I cover myself with the blanket, cuddling into Levi’s chest.

“It’s a bit of a longer drive to Wisconsin,” Hanji says. “I’m glad you both came around. The silence was getting awwwk-waaard.”

“Because you never know when to shut up,” Levi growls. His hand finds mine under the blanket and he holds it softly, turning to kiss my temple.

Hanji ignores Levi’s comment and says, “Okay, so basically, I think this whole thing is like the cell tower outage a little while back. But obviously, not _all_ electricity is out, because the gas station was showing the news on TV and everything else was up and running. So I’m thinking maybe it’s only affecting places where a lot of people tend to go?”

“But why’d we have to go so fast?” I ask, tracing my fingers around and around on Levi’s hand.

“Well, mainly, Erwin and I just panicked. Sorry. Heh.” Hanji glances at us quickly in her rearview mirror and says, “Levi, you okay? You look like you’re high.”

“I’m good,” Levi says, smiling. I press my face into his chest and stifle a laugh, just as happy as he is.

“So, did you guys sleep okay?” Hanji asks. “Eren, no nightmares?”

“What?” I question. “Why would you think I would have a nightmare?”

“I just figured, you know, with everything that happened yesterday, with your sister and all, it’s very possible that-“

“Hanji, please shut the fuck up. Right now,” Levi demands protectively. I pull back from being so close to Levi and bundle myself up in the blanket, letting him hold his arm around me.

“Right,” she says. “Sorry.”

I close my eyes and wish myself away, dreaming of a place where we’re all safe again. Where Mikasa is still alive. Somewhere that we can live and travel in peace rather than cowering in fear and running to a place we’ll never reach.

I want to drown myself in the past and let my body sink to the bottom.


	10. Chapter Ten

May 17, 2035

“Daddy, Daddy! Can I have a piggyback ride? Puh-leeease?”

“Not now, Daddy’s busy.”

“You’re _always_ busy!”

“I said not now, Historia!”

Ten-year-old Historia Reiss jumped back, staring at her father in childish fear. “Fine. I’ll play by myself, then.” She began to walk down the hall to her room, but her curiosity got the best of her, and she decided on eavesdropping instead. She carefully pressed her ear to the door of the conference room and tried to steady her heavily-beating heart as she listened to multiple men speak on the other side.

“…started in Moscow, blew up in everyone’s goddamn face!”

“If we do this, we have to be careful. We can’t risk ending up like the entire continent of Asia.”

“There is no ‘if’ about it! President Reiss will never agree!”

“Because all he worries about is that stupid kid of his. If I knew a pansy was taking office, I wouldn’t have let him become the leader of this damn country.”

“Think about _your_ children! What if the vaccine malfunctions again and it’s _your_ kids getting hit with the virus?”

“Don’t you bring my family into this.”

Historia held her breath as she heard her father enter the room, his voice loud and clear as he spoke. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I have decided. The vaccine is to be administered here, beginning in Florida tomorrow.”

“Mr. President, sir, I believe you are making a _terrible_ mistake-“

“Enough of that nonsense, Leonhardt.” Historia heard the sound of something being stamped onto a document before her father said, “It is final.”

\---

Today- June 5, 2040

I sleep through the remainder of the drive, Levi’s arms wrapped firmly around me. Once we’re in Wisconsin, Hanji pulls the car into the parking lot of some McDonald’s, whose sign has half of the light bulbs burnt out. Levi shakes me awake and the green numbers on the car radio tell me it’s past midnight. Technically, it’s a new day.

We walk into the restaurant together, all of us volunteering to carry Hanji due to how tired she looks from driving all day. I’m worried she could fall flat on her face in seconds.

Once inside, we get our food and sit at a small red-seated booth, looking up at the television screen above our heads. The same reported from yesterday is on again, doing a report on the theorized connection between the infection and some sort of vaccine.

“As you can see, I am inside CDC headquarters, where with me I have Dr. Grisha Jaeger. Dr. Jaeger, could you explain what you’re working on right now?”

I half-choke on the bite I’ve taken of my burger, and it takes Levi hitting me on the back before I can regain enough strength to direct my attention at the news again.

“That’s my _dad,”_ I whisper in shock. “I thought Kenny… oh my god. He was just fucking with me, wasn’t he?”

Levi rubs his eyes and sighs. “Apparently so. He does that a lot, far too much for his own good.”

I stare at my father upon the screen, wanting to jump for joy at the sight of him. I haven’t seen his face in years, so I’ve nearly forgotten what he looks like. Now, I don’t have to try and sew together memories anymore. Because he’s _there,_ he’s _alive._

“…see, we are not sure if there is any true link between the blood cancer vaccine distributed back in 2035 and the ‘zombie virus,’ or Z6L6 as we’re calling it, but it is very possible that this is all due to a so-called ‘good thing’ gone wrong.” My father walks out of the camera’s view for a moment before the camera follows him, showing a glass cage that he stands in front of. Inside the cage is one of the infected creatures–

–and it looks almost exactly like Annie.

“Oh my _god,”_ Levi and I say at the same time.

“This is test subject GK, but we call her Annie due to the ID we found on her,” my dad says to the reporter. “She’s particularly odd because unlike every other infected specimen we’ve encountered, she can think for herself. Essentially, she’s still human, but her ability to verbally communicate is lost and she regurgitates and food that isn’t, er… That isn’t human flesh.”

I set my cheeseburger down mid-bite, my appetite now gone. Levi does the same.

“Have you found any other subjects like her?” the reporter inquires, her eyes widening as Annie presses her hands against the durable Plexiglas.

“Yes, actually. Test subject GL was also found with an ID, so we call her Ymir. She was found not too far from Annie’s location, actually.”

_“What?!”_ I exclaim, jumping up. “Oh my fucking _god!”_

“Sir, please quiet down,” the cashier behind the serving counter says, picking at his nails.

“Right. Sorry.” I sit back down and exchange bewildered looks with Levi, Hanji and Erwin completely oblivious as to why we’re freaking out.

“We also have two other subjects in the basement, but we’re not yet sure if they’ll be like this. They were in the middle of a virus transformation when we obtained custody of them, so we have to keep them confined until we feel it’s safe to check their progress,” my father explains.

“I thought transformations happened immediately? That someone can turn from the infection in anywhere from ten seconds to five minutes at the most?”

“That’s what we were led to believe as well. But perhaps there’s something within these subjects, causing them to take a longer time to transform as well as to keep most elements of their humanity with them.”

As the camera slowly pans out, I swear to God, I’ve never seen my father look so damn _guilty_ before. I just wish I knew why.

The report ends there and switches to the local news for weather. I just stay completely silent as Hanji and Erwin finish their meals. “Are you okay?” Levi asks me quietly.

“I don’t know,” I reply. Levi slips his fingers between mine and runs his thumb over the back of my hand gently. How is he so good at calming me down?

Hanji sees me cuddling up to Levi and she gives us a big smile. “I’m glad you found this kid, Levi,” she says. “You seem to be slightly less pissy when you’re together.”

“Shut up,” Levi laughs halfheartedly. “What can I say? How can you not love this huge teenage ball of angst?”

“Hey,” I say, squinting at him. “Watch it.”

“But it’s true,” Erwin says. “You’re like the yin to his yang.”

“That sounds like it should have an innuendo in there somewhere,” Levi snorts.

“Shush. But really, I haven’t seen you this calm since Petra,” Hanji says.

Levi’s eyes widen and he glares at her. “You shut up right now,” he says. “ _Now.”_

“All I said is–”

“Maybe you should learn what you can say and what you can’t.” Levi doesn’t sound angry anymore, just hurt. He slides out of the booth and hisses, “Petra is a definite ‘can’t’,” before running off to the restroom. I merely stare down at my lap, folding my hands together awkwardly.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Erwin scolds, shaking his head. “You know how upset he’s going to be now.”

“Excuse me,” I say uncomfortably as I stand up and walk to the restroom. When I enter, Levi’s gripping onto the sink counter, his head hanging low so I can’t see his expression. “Levi?” I say in a soft tone. “Levi, are you all right?”

Levi pushes his hair out of his eyes and rubs them using his thumb and index finger. “I’m fine,” he says hoarsely. I see a tear slip down his cheek as he turns away, covering his face with his hand.

“Are you crying?” I ask cautiously.

“If I say no, you’ll call me a liar, and if I say yes, I’ll be doubted because I’m Levi Ackerman. I’m the tough guy, I don’t have fucking _feelings_ , right?” He faces me, his eyes burning red. “I’m not mad at _you,_ Eren, but come on, it’s what you’re thinking. It’s what everyone thinks! Well, does anyone care about what _I_ think? Because frankly, I think it’s bullshit. It’s all fucking bullshit.”

I’m not sure what to do, so I just stand there looking like an idiot, biting my lip. “Who’s Petra?” I finally ask, preparing for him to blow up at me. Surprisingly, he doesn’t.

“She was… a friend,” he replies. “But I’d rather not talk about her. Please.”

I nod, walking closer to him. “You’ll be okay,” I say, hugging him. “You’ll be okay…”

Levi just shakes his head, weakly hugging me back. He finally pulls out of the hug and turns the sink on, splashing cold water on his face. “Yeah,” he says, his voice back to normal. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

I take him by the hand and lead him back to the table, where Hanji looks ready to cry herself. “I’m sorry, Levi!” she exclaims. “You’re like my best friend and I hate making you upset! I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Levi says with ice in his tone. Hanji throws her arms around his neck and holds onto him, and I drop his hand so I don’t risk her knocking me over as well. “Whoa, hey, I said it’s okay. Seriously, Hanj. Calm down.” Erwin has to pry Hanji off of Levi with his only arm and Levi’s hand finally gets a chance to find mine again.

“Okay,” Erwin says, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Please don’t make me drive any longer,” Hanji pleads. “I’m so tired, I literally feel like a zombie.” She winces, then giggles a bit. “Bad word choice. Oops.”

I volunteer to drive, and Levi has to convince them that I actually am I good drive despite my being only fifteen.

“He crashed off a _cliff,_ ” Hanji says hastily.

“For good reason. It wasn’t an accident.”

“Why can’t you just drive?”

Levi looks my way and then chuckles. “I’m too short to reach the pedals,” he laughs.

They finally give in and let me have the keys, but when we walk out to the parking lot, the car’s gone.

“Shit!” Erwin says. “Someone must’ve hotwired it. _Fuck_ that.”

“Well,” I say, “back to walking, then.”

Levi hoists Hanji over his shoulder and begins walking, the tired girl soon falling asleep in the uncomfortable position. It’s much too dark to really see where we’re going, but the streetlights and rare appearances of car headlights make it a tad bit easier. As we make our way further down the street, Erwin suddenly yells, “That’s our car!” He races over to it, only to find it has been crashed by whoever stole it. The car is bent nearly all the way around a tree and the car thief’s body is smashed between the airbag and the back of the seat, their neck snapped back in an inhuman way. As Levi tries to see the car, Erwin keeps him back.

“No,” he says. “You don’t need to see that.”

“If someone died, it’s not a big deal. I’ve killed people before, mind you,” Levi says blankly.

“No, really. I don’t think you should-”

But Erwin’s too late. Levi’s already made his way over to the car, nearly dropping Hanji in shock.

“What? Is it someone you know?” I ask Erwin, unable to look at Levi’s distraught expression.

“No,” he says, “but it’s the _exact_ way Petra’s body had been found when she died.” He puts a hand over his mouth. “I wasn’t supposed to mention that.”

I walk over to Levi and take Hanji from her arms, holding her in mine instead as Levi’s mind begins to spiral down to some dark place that I’m not exactly sure I want to see.

“Levi, come on, let’s go,” Erwin says.

“I-it’s Petra, maybe we can save her this time…”

“No, Levi. It’s not Petra. Please, let’s go.” Erwin pulls at Levi’s arm, but he swats him away.

“It’s Petra! Can’t you see that it’s her?!”

Erwin shakes his head. “Levi, I’m sorry, but either you come with us, or we’re leaving without you!” My heart is too broken at Levi’s reaction for me to even say anything.

“Go,” Levi whispers harshly. “Go on, then!”

I wake up Hanji and set her on her feet next to Erwin. “You guys go on,” I usher. “Thank you for all you’ve done. I hope we can meet again, under better circumstances next time.”

They hesitate before nodding and waving goodbye, walking their own way away from us until they disappear into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys.  
> the next chapter is going to be the very very last chapter of this story.  
> to those of you who have read and stuck around thus far, thank you bunches.  
> i'll write a bigger acknowledgment note after the last chapter is actually posted, but... yeah.  
> thank you.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter in this fanfic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for suicide, graphic descriptions of gore, and death of a minor.

"Levi,” I whisper, tugging on his hand. “Come on. We’ve gotta go.”

“But Petra–”

“She’ll be okay,” I say. “You must be really tired, yeah? Let’s go, we can find a place for us both to sleep.”

Levi takes a deep breath before nodding and walking with me, his pace getting slower and slower as time goes on. We finally reach a street where houses line the road and I bravely knock on a random door, hearing a TV on inside. An older man opens the door, squinting his eyes. “Can I help you young men at this hour?”

“I’m so sorry, sir. But, ah… See, we’re not from here, and we really need somewhere to stay. We’ll be gone first thing in the morning, I swear,” I say, holding Levi tightly by his waist to help him stand up.

“You’ve been running from the virus, hm?” the man asks. I can’t help but think that his voice is all too familiar, I just don’t remember from where.

“Yes, sir.” I look at Levi to make sure he’s still hanging in there, but he honestly looks dead. “Really, just one night. We just don’t know what else to do.”

The man nods and motions for us to enter. He lets us sit down on the couch and Levi curls up in my lap like a cat, yawning before immediately falling asleep. Never in my life would I think he could look so vulnerable, but at least he’s at peace.

“Do I know you?” the man asks, and it takes me a minute before I realize what he’s asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry,” he apologizes, adjusting himself in his chair. “I just… I feel like I know your face.”

“That’s funny,” I laugh breathily. “I was going to say the same thing.”

He looks down at his hands and wrings them together before quietly saying, “Mikasa didn’t make it, did she?”

My lips part in sudden realization of who this man is. “Hannes,” I whisper. “My god, it’s been ages.”

“Yes, I know,” he sighs. “I’m… I’m so sorry about Mikasa. I know she was the closest thing you had left to family.”

I nod and say, “I’m the one who should be apologizing. We shouldn’t have ran away from you back in Louisiana.”

Hannes shakes his head. “You did what you felt you needed to do,” he says. “I could never be angry with you for saving yourself.”

“Did you see my father on the news earlier?”

“I did.” He gives me a look full of absolute remorseful dread. “That man holds many secrets, Eren. And I don’t know exactly if you’ll ever be able to find them all out for yourself. All I know is that everything he’s done in his life, even with having to leave his family behind, he did it because he knew it’d help people in the long run.” He smiles grimly and blinks ever so slowly. “You’ve grown to be a fine young man in these past couple of years.”

“Thank you, Hannes,” I say quietly. I stare down at Levi, his hair like a mop sitting in my lap. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he says. “But you should get some rest. I’ll still be here in the morning. Sleep.”

\---

I wake up to the sound of loud beeping on Hannes’s TV, Levi still on my lap. I rub my eyes sleepily and see an emergency alert going across the screen, the obvious source of the beeping. Hannes is nowhere to be found. I wake Levi up so he can hear the announcement as well, his hair in a complete mess as he sits up and blinks.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I say before the automated voice begins explaining the emergency.

“This is not a drill. The following has been released at the request of the United States government. The Z6L6 virus has now spread to the following areas in mass amounts: northern Iowa. Southeastern South Dakota. Minnesota. Western Wisconsin. This is not a drill.” And it repeats. Again and again and again.

“That’s us,” Hannes says, and we turn to see him in the kitchen. “Western Wisconsin. Let’s go, boys, you gotta run.”

I thank him one last time, a bit quicker than I wish I would have, then grab a few guns off his dining room table. Levi’s quiet, but reenergized, so he’s able to run like his regular self again. People are dashing frantically all around the neighborhood, parents holding their children tightly and various people screaming in panic. Levi and I run until we reach the outskirts of the town, where a gang of the undead stalks towards us. I shoot at every single one, killing each– except for the last one.

“There aren’t any more bullets in this thing!”

“Here,” Levi says, pulling out another gun that we stole from Hannes. “Just run in the other direction, Eren. I’ll catch up in a few seconds.”

He shoots at the creature and manages to kill it, however, he doesn’t see one come up behind him by surprise. I run the other way, watching Levi over my shoulder. He elbows the creature away from him, but it gets far too close for comfort and Levi cines painfully before stabbing it straight through its temple with a knife from his pocket. He runs over to me but slows down, shaking his arm in pain.

“Did it get you?” I ask, horrified.

“I don’t know,” he says. “Actually, no, I’m fine. If it did, I’d be on the ground right now. Let’s go.”

We continue running through the tall grass, my hand grabbing his just so I know he’s still really there.

“Hey,” I say as my feet race across the ground. “I think I might know why we feel so strongly about each other when we haven’t even known each other for really that long.”

Levi raises an eyebrow as he looks at me. “Yeah?”

“Well, I mean, it’s probably weird, but y’know, I sorta think I might’ve known you in a past life.”

Levi smiles graciously at me. “That’s a nice thought,” he says. “I like that.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I don’t know, maybe it’s dumb.”

“Hey, it’s not dumb. Really.” He stops running and I do, too, forgetting if only for a moment that the world around us is currently in chaotic peril. I lean in and kiss him, smiling as my hand cups his cheek.

“Je t’aime,” I whisper.

“Ich liebe dich,” he says right back.

We go back to running. We run and we run and we run, killing every zombie we can and not stopping even when our feet feel like falling off. We can’t do anything but run for our lives and we don’t even have a goal to reach. We just need to survive.

I don’t know how long it is that we run for. It could have been days, or just hours, or quite possibly even mere minutes, but we get to an area that’s seemingly quiet, where abandoned homes stand. Potential food jackpot.

“Let’s scope this place out,” I say, motioning toward the house closest to us. “Come on.”

We enter the house with caution and look around, Levi searching the kitchen and me going around the bedrooms. It isn’t until I hear an odd whimpering that I stop and look inside one of the closets. On the floor of the closet is a small child, holding a gun tightly in his hands but quite obviously not knowing what to do with it.

“Who are you?” he asks helplessly. “Where’s my Papa?”

“I- I don’t know where your papa is,” I say. “But my name’s Eren.”

“Eren?” Levi calls from the other room. “Uh, there’s no food here, but there’s- uh- you should see this.” He walks into the bedroom that I’m in and sees the kid on the ground, his eyes widening. “Hello,” he says carefully.

“This is my boyfriend,” I tell the boy, a warm feeling spreading through my chest at the verbal confession. “His name’s Levi. We’re not going to hurt you, okay? We can help you.”

“I just want my Papa.”

I look at Levi and see a sickened expression crawl across his face. “Come on,” he coaxes quietly. “We can find your Papa somewhere, okay?”

The boy rises to his feet and we lead him out the back door, although I’m not sure why Levi doesn’t want us going through the front door.

“What’s the deal?” I whisper to him.

“That’s what I came in to tell you,” he says back. That kid’s dad- he’s dead in their parlor room. Bullet right through his brain.”

I hold my breath and look at the boy sadly. All three of us, we’re technical orphans. While my father is still living, he seemed dead for a long time. We’re all alone together.

“What’s your name?” I ask the kid after a bit of walking.

“Tommy,” he responds. “Do you guys kill zombies?”

Levi snorts but tries to cover it up with a cough, not wanting to come off prude. “We do,” he answers. “You’ll be safe with us. Don’t worry.”

We travel together for days, and this Tommy kid seems to have more in common with us than I’d even originally thought. His mother died when he was ten, just like mine, but he’s eleven now, so he hasn’t had much time to recover from it. We come to find out that he was once abused by his father, which Levi can relate to more than he’d like to, but his Papa is really his uncle, who adopted him only six months prior. We still don’t decide to tell him his Papa’s fate.

“Are you scared?” Levi asks him one night on random.

“Why would I be scared?” is his reply. “The zombies are just like us. They just weren’t lucky enough to be saved from something they can’t control.”

Smart damn kid.

By the end of the week, we’re all nearly freezing our asses off. I give Tommy my jacket, and Levi gives me his. I insist on him keeping it, but as usual, he simply has to have his way.

Tommy is asleep on the floor by our small campfire when we hear the signature zombie screeches somewhat close to where we’re at. Levi holds his gun tightly and I grab hold of the one Tommy had been holding when I initially found him. “Hey,” I say, shaking Tommy by his arm. “Wake up, we’ve gotta get moving.”

It takes him a while before he realizes that he needs to stand up, and once he does, we all start moving together slowly, Tommy jumping back a bit when he hears the screeching for himself. “Is that-?”

“Yeah,” Levi answers gruffly. “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine.”

Once the zombies come into view, we begin killing like crazy. Shoot, shoot, shoot, stab, stab, stab, kick, shove, punch, hit, shoot, shoot–

– _bite?_

Tommy screams out in pain and I rush over to him, only to see a nasty bite mark on his shoulder. “ _Fuck,”_ I whisper, trying my best not to panic him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“What’s happening to me?!” he screams out.

“Hey, hey, hey, shh. Shh, you’re okay, you’re okay,” I say, getting him to lie down on the ground. “You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

“I don’t want to die,” he croaks out.

“I- I know. I know you don’t,” I say. “Just… I’m…”

“But I’m going to turn into a zombie if I don’t die, right?” he asks. I see Levi staring at us out of the corner of my eye and I nod sadly.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I… I don’t want to, but I… have to.”

“Let me,” he says, taking the gun from my hands. “Thank you, for- for being so nice to me. I’ll be with my mom now. It’s okay.” He puts the barrel of the gun in his mouth and his body convulses as he pulls the trigger, his limbs spastically flinging around everywhere before suddenly doing nothing at all.

I wipe my eyes free of tears and hold my breath as I regain strength to stand again, going to help Levi fight off the zombies. “He-”

“I know,” Levi says, gritting his teeth as he violently impales another infected creature. “I’m sorry.”

We finish killing off the clan that attacked us and I try not to cry, Levi’s arm around my waist for support as we make our way down the road. “Why is everyone dying?” I whisper helplessly. “Why does this have to happen?”

“I wish I knew,” Levi says. “I’m sorry. I wish I could fix it.”

“It was never supposed to end up like this,” I say. “Never…”

“I know.” Levi kisses my forehead and we end up walking to a small shed at the end of the road. “Let’s stay here for the night.”

“I should have saved him,” I whisper. “I could have. And I’m the one who killed Mikasa. And- and everyone, everyone died because I didn’t help them…”

“Eren.” Levi puts his hands on my face and looks at me. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare believe that for a damn second, okay? You’re fine. You’re perfectly okay. None of this is your fault. None of it. The world is just fucked u-AUGHH!”

I see a zombie on the ground next to his foot, its mouth around his leg as blood seeps from its chest. Someone tried to kill it before us but couldn’t.

“ _LEVI!”_ I shriek. I grab his knife and finish off the zombie, making sure it’s dead before getting Levi to lie down in a spot on the ground as well. “We have to cut off your- your leg.”

“No,” he says. “No, we can’t. My knife isn’t strong enough- or, more accurately, we don’t have anything that would stop me from bleeding to death…”

“No,” I blubber. “No, you can’t just… please tell me you’re not fine with this!”

“I can’t do anything about it that won’t result in me dying a painful- ARGH!- death, Eren,” he says sadly, beginning to shake. “All I know is… you need to… to kill me.”

“What? No! You can’t ask me to do that! _No!”_

“Eren.” He looks me in the eyes, his hands on my cheeks. “Eren, listen to me. The minute that you see me turn, I want you to kill me.” He keeps the knife in my hands and I nearly choke as I try to hold back more tears. “You’ve occupied my heart in only a month. It takes a really fucking sp-special person to do that, you know?” He rests his head in my lap and his legs begin to go into spasms, seizing all over the place.

“Why me? Why do I have to kill you?” I whimper.

Levi smiles weakly, resting his hands on his chest. “Because it f-feels wrong for anyone else to. B-besides, I don’t want to be responsible for infecting even more people and- oh, god, it hurts, it _hurts.”_

I begin to sob, shaking my head.

“You need to kill me and run the minute you do. You’ll be okay, my darling, darling Eren. Please don’t cry.”

“I promise,” I weep, “I will find you again in our next life. I swear to you, I will.”

Levi closes his eyes, a hint of a smile still on his face. “Eren?”

“Yes?”

“I want to s-say it in English now.”

“Say wha- oh, right. O-okay.”

Levi whispers, “I love you. And I’m so-sorry I have to leave you so soon. I l-love you.”

“I love you, too.” I shake and shiver as I cry, biting my lip until blood drips from it.

He pulls a cigarette lighter from his pocket and puts it in my hands, coughing at how badly it must hurt him to move. “What’s this?” I ask.

“I promised you I’d give it back, didn’t I? When I first smoked in the truck?”

That only makes me cry more, bending down to give him one final kiss. “I love you,” he whispers before his eyes close for the last time.

I sob violently, rocking his body back and forth as I repeat, “Come back to me, come back, oh god, _please_ come back to me… I love you, I love you…”

He looks peaceful for such a long time, I nearly start to think that maybe he won’t transform. “Levi?” I say. “It’s not too late, you can come back… you can, you can…”

I hold my breath as he opens his eyes again.

He’s not Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god.  
> I did it, guys. I finished my first relatively "big" fic ever. This is actually a huge achievement for me, holy shit.  
> I just want to thank you all for being so wonderful. Thank you so much for reading this whole stupid thing.  
> I'm going to go cry in a corner now. Bye.<3

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://spookymileskane.tumblr.com) / [instagram](http://instagr.am/and.a.smile)


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